Perceptions and Guilt

Always wanting answers can be overwhelming, especially when you’re driven by the quest -to find meaning.   When I stop and think about all the difficult times I’ve had in my life,  the answers have always been found “within” myself.

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There I go again, looking for an outside source to give me all the answers.   I know that it’s best to educate myself with all the knowledge I can grasp,  and research every angle to the situation but in the end, it is my ultimate decision which knowledge I will accept and choose to ignore.  Therefore, the conclusion will always be,  I will choose to accept what I want to form my own reality by my own perceptions.  Thus, change in our perception will change our lives.

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We are not prisoners, even though it feels we are.  We have a choice, we choose what we will allow in our senses. With all this power we hold over our lives we have to wonder why there are so many angry people surrounding us.

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Avoid bitter people who make you want to complain about their world. It’s human nature for us to want want want… But more importantly are we giving? Are we feeling?  Or are we choosing to live in denial?  It’s always easier to choose to live in denial.

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We choose to separate ourselves from others especially those who don’t think like us because we choose fear.  People care so much what other’ s think about them, they allow others to think for them.

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What is everyone afraid of~
Afraid of Failing, afraid of Change,  and just afraid to think!   Allowing others to think for us feels safe because we not taking any risk.  Not being our true selves is always going to lead to unhappiness and bitterness.  The beauty is that finding your true self will lead you to happiness.

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It makes no sense that during my entire upbringing, I made sure to always remain nonjudgmental  and to ensure I was never critical in thinking regarding another person’s choices.  I felt it was my personal mission to encourage others to be true to themselves, accept  them as they are.

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I tried to live the example I preached about by showing I was 100% true to myself by my expressive nature not giving a care in the world what another thought about me.

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The truth is, I was and still am critical to myself!   I have always felt I have never done enough, even in the relationships I held I chose those who reminded me no matter how much I had done for them, they only reminded me of what I hadn’t done for them.

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Every accomplishment was never celebrated because I didn’t feel proud of myself nor did it feel deserved.  My accomplishments were seen as a small step to somewhere greater I needed to be,  a reminder I was still not there yet.   The more knowledge I seek the more I realize how much more I still need to seek.

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I need to do all I can so the best job is done.  Guess what, there will never be enough time with more knowledge comes more responsibility.  Problem located – Guilt!

Guilt is probably my number one issue at the moment and has been for most of my life.  Problems will never go away they are part of life but why do I fee it’s necessary to make me their bitch?  I need to make guilt my bitch!

Mission not impossible – change my perception.

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Michele Renee
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One comment

  1. […] The most effective way to hold on to the past: Guilt!!!! […]

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