Running and Kidney stones

My current struggle with my kidneys has really made me stop and reevaluate my life.  It’s very difficult for me to be stopped in my tracks and has left me weak for the past few months.  I hate feeling weak and vulnerable.

I am not comfortable feeling weak. The pain is often times overwhelming.  Let’s be real, I’ve had so much pain in my life that although  sometimes it feels unbearable, it is something I can understand.  I am tough I can bare pain,  I can ride this wave 🌊 I have ridden worst.  I know I have endurance,  and in a way no matter how magnificent the pain is,  I will make sure that it serves a purpose.

It does seem cruel and unfair that everything in my life seem to be going in a direction I was in control of and comfortable in and then just like that taken down by an ailment that reminds me, I am not always in control.

For one of the first times in my life,  I have been forced to yield, and take a look at my health.

For many years I fooled myself to believe I was health conscious because I was a runner 🏃.  I ran,  I ran a lot!
imageimage
imageimage
Let’s be real, running wasn’t a conscious decision I made for my health. I just tried it and found it was a perfect tool that would allow me to deal with stressors with a force that allowed me to remain feeling powerful and full of strength.
imageI faced the stress by beginning my run with the only factor being you will head back to the finish line when you feel better. I found running put me in control again. It’s funny to think about it because the whole time I ran I felt so out of control. I know I probably even felt vulnerable and seemed in my mind I looked like a crazy nut case to others running/walking/driving along side my path.  I would put on my headphones, and get lost in my first love-music.  I learned to use music to escape early on at about the age of five.  My music /running therapy would begin.
image

I would get emotional and cry, allow myself to feel anger and push myself to the next mile.
image

I found myself running for hours,  many miles. On weekends I Could actually spend my whole day running.
image
I was addicted to music and now running. People would marvel and wonder how could I run so much, when it was something I couldn’t understand but I knew how could I not.
imageimage

Running got me through many difficult times in my life, one of the hardest being my divorce.

I find myself in a situation currently  that makes it hard for me to even walk and feeling weak, vulnerable,  out of my element.   I feel like a weak prisoner locked in my room of pain. The only thing I hold onto is my will to understand, the motivation to find out the root of my ailment, and the will to make changes for a better healthier body.

Biggest of all I hold on to my faith, things will get better, I will be renewed, I will be better because I hold the power with a powerful source by my side.

image

Michele Renee

3 comments

  1. […] accustomed to for many years of my life.  My complete motivation was to escape in a RUN. I would run, run, run, and run and if I wasn’t running I felt I should be.  Finding excitement in the preparation […]

    Like

  2. […] often seems the world is out to get us.  For example right now I’m disabled, by kidney stones and symptoms that have progressed to a pneumatic state.   My cough is keeping me fatigued, […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

A WordPress.com Website.
%d bloggers like this: