I realized what I really needed and craved was the love of another, I mean real unconditional love.
The kind of Love you get from someone who loves you for you!
The kind of Love with care and support, with no strings attached.
I remember when feeling that love you aren’t guarded and your true self is apparent.
I needed to allow someone to love me. Let go of all fear I held onto and allow someone to accept me just as is.
I needed some soul who would encourage all the things I love and not put me down and tell me how they thought I should be living.
Someone who understood the importance of all the things I longed for and made it a priority for those things to come to life, so they begun to long for those dreams too because of the importance of going together.
I was tired of going alone even if it was up like a beautiful balloon, I felt empty inside because I really needed anothers love. I wanted someone who would make my life and dreams come to life and I wanted to be all those things to them on a level they never even dreamed of.
I wanted a best friend a soul mate and I deserved it.
When your heart is guarded you don’t allow those things to happen. You may wish for them but you turn them away for a million different reasons. I needed to allow myself to be loved and I made every reason up in my mind to run away but I figured let’s see what happens if I just allow it…
And so I did. Allowing Gus to love and care for me, and trusting he would love and care for me was not easy.
Letting down my guarded walls felt awkward, scary, and unordinary, but when I did and accepted it OMG the love was amazing.
So I allowed it again
Sometimes the walls want to come up again but I keep practicing in fact Gus would probably say I am quite a professional at allowing myself to be loved 🙂 Love is definitely real
I will continue to allow it in my reality.