For me it has been a constant battle, when someone hurts me, I respond in a negative fashion, maybe its human nature to destroy to protect, or maybe its just what we as a society works to survive, survival of the fittest. Do I really feel that to be true?
I remember the time in my life when my immediate response was, “Hmmmm, what is my next plan of action, what can I do to knock them off that damn high horse…” My motive was always hurt them more, greater, and then the battle begun.
But then what, how did that make me feel as a woman, as a person, as God’s child…
How did they react, they either crawled into a hole to retreat which always left me with guilt, or I waited for the next hit of neverending evil shenanigans and mind games.
I guess that is why its very easy for me to forgive the evil others do, because I remember the time I did those things for the main motivation of… Protection, but that was a huge lie.
I learned a little about forgiveness by understanding and then i started learning more about humility by realizing …that the moment you talk down or about someone else, life has a funny way to force you into that same situation, some people call it karma.
Even learning and knowing the truth, it doesnt mean I don’t revert back to those older days of my previous thinking and methods of defense. I need to remember revenge is a lie, it is not an effective method, even if it feels good for a moment in time, allowing another soul to bring me down to a level beneath where I’ve worked hard to be, why would I give anyone that power?
The problem is, others that only know misery as well will be attracted to you, and you to them, so we pick other miserable people to fill our life with the lie that misery is the truth. If you think about it you can’t deny it, its what attracts most human beings. Drama enters, doesn’t take long for the vultures to come hovering over waiting and watching, and oh how they love to spread bad news.
It is easy to see evil as powerful and effective because for a moment you feel vindicated.
I know that after every first time, the second time becomes easier, then the third, and your actions and choices become part of who you are.
During those moments its OK to say, “hey, this doesn’t feel like me or the person I want to be…” Its OK to change your mind and try something new. The moment you have that feeling, “oh my gosh I never knew I could feel so free…” You know you have made that leap from allowing someone else to control your mind, to taking control. You realize the people around you are important, you become selective but never judgmental, the people in your life remind you of who you are and the person you want to be.
People who remind you that you are not failure, and when you do fail yourself or God, its not who you are, you learn and move away from that.
Friends remind you how valuable you are because I don’t care how many people there are in this world, no one has lived your life, had to make your choices, went through your lessons, no one has your mind… You are unique and valuable, one of a kind.
You are loved, needed, and everyday God gives you blessings because he loves you! People see the magic in you, and when they don’t realize your allowing the wrong people in your life. If you listen, pay attention, you will catch the important clues to those people and who they are, the believe in you and remind you to believe in you!
We are all here for a reason, others reasons isn’t our business, our reason is… Find out who you are, what your strengths are and stop comparing yourself to any other soul who doesn’t have your gifts…
Believe in you, if you don’t how will you ever convince another of your worth! The greater truth is though, no matter how many people we do convince if we don’t believe it ourselves it will be a never ending struggle.
Forgive yourself for who you have been and those lies you still continue to struggle with that keep you where you don’t need to be.
Be forgiving so you will be forgived by others, but even greater live by his example be forgiving because you have already been forgived.
Wake up today knowing you are a success, a survivor, get motivated now to do what needs to be done at least today, and watch, accept, and be thankful for all the blessings the Lord has sent, there are more to come… Just wait and see~