Connections, Monsters, and road to be set free~

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Official Video for this Blog : 🙂


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/104525905″>Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Bon Iver – Monster from AgentParkman on Vimeo.</p>

Gustavo is my other half; when I say that, it takes on many different meanings, depending on the day and actually the current mood of the day for whatever individual personality I allow out of it’s cage in that particular day.

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Gus is my companion in this beautiful thing we call life; sometimes he is the storm and sometimes he is the calm; but most of the time one of us is the opposite of the other; our personalities compliment each other and bring about a perfect sync to the extreme high and low of the wonderful us that is created together.

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The days we both are in same mode; watch out, get out-of-the-way; and enjoy the most intense ride of your life.  He really is a perfect representation of the male version of me; or as you can also say a great representation of some bad ass guy who knows how to bring out the woman in me; the woman I strive to be.

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We are so similar in ways that it is easy for us to understand and of course appreciate those similarities because we understand them.  We do; have our differences,  differences we hold on to just as tight  because as individuals we consider them near and dear to us for our own specific meaning, we are just as passionate to those differences as we stay to our similarities…

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The way Gus put’s it, a “daily must do” for healthy daily balance, eat more YOGURT, FRUIT, and remember to keep using the Rotar Rudder and continue to flush out all the shit from our daily lives.

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So Gus is brutally honest in his own witty ways that always keep me laughing and light-hearted.  I am a little more brutally honest in an eloquently worded way; but in reality look at these eyes and tell me crazy ain’t written all over this face.

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No matter how much we understand each other, support each other, we still found a way recently to get lost in our individual ways leaving the other behind for longer than we both find comfort in.   It is so easy to disconnect from someone with all the day-to-day dealings of life.

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We can’t deny the fact we come face to face with NUMEROUS daily distractions,  some are easily identifiable while others are not so apparent.

Sometimes the distractions are purposely done; by people who are brought into our ever-changing lives with a purpose by God and even by the devil.  At times we allow ourselves to enter the devils den when we choose sin; we are unknowingly brought in to the evil environments lured by temptations and addictions; all the evil in the world surrounds us and we need to remember to stay strong. Temptations are the choices we make that bring a side of our own soul to a state of weakness, exactly where we DO NOT need to be.  A place I don’t know about and refuse to get to know, but I will tell you I have allowed my soul to get lured in by others and the closer I got, the more I understood I needed to run in the other direction.  It is disguised in the most wonderful pleasures that you will be taunted with and promised, it will fool you and your feelings  in a way of that of a hypnotized belief.  It will be alive in the darkness you will feel it; you will have moments of feelings of Power, Control, and other desires useful for manipulation, but you will be reminded of the truth when you get those brief moments of the true reality of where you are headed; you feel trapped in a dark underworld, you are alone the others that are there are alone and miserable to.  This is a place you do not want to go, you realize you are afraid because you don’t know how to get out, what stemmed from an  an innocent curiosity has brought you low, to this dark, lost place where you can’t find your way out of.  You wonder to yourself, when that point became apparent you were not having fun anymore, everything from the start was a lie, you wonder what happen to all your knowledge, and you remember back to all those times; like a film slowing playing back choppy and some barely recognizable clips flashing back to each time back you never noticed you were skillfully diverted, by keeping your focus on the self gratification.  You realize you are vulnerable, we all are vulnerable; your own personal fears are your lies; they don’t exist; they aren’t the truth but they were created by your mind, and now have been birthed into your reality.   Stop! Ask for forgiveness; it really is that easy. If you are genuine and you seek God, you will find him… and you will WIN!  BELIEVE

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Stay away from negative people who bring you down to a lower place.   Choose the light! Choose God.

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Gus has no problem with guilt if he wants to cut someone out of his life for that specific chapter he shreds with no remorse, he always makes decisions based on the good of all involved.  He loves peace and will work hard, as hard as he has to, to keep the peace.  I struggled with cutting people out of my life and found guilt of remembrance of all the different times in my life i felt abandonment; so I held on to everyone who entered my life.  Gus has taught me with making some initial steps of finding peace; we know we can’t help another soul if we can’t even be at peace within.  It is hard when you chose to let someone go that you truly love and care about, but it is a must for your own personal welfare.  Some souls have a presence on another soul that brings out all the negative feelings within, you lose all sense of the feeling of peace, you feel like someone else and feel afraid.  Sometimes if you have to make that decision to cut someone off you lose other people you don’t want to; but the hate that becomes alive with the connection of the souls brings  negative behaviors within yourself; you are angry and don’t even like the person you are; so you know the answer is to become the sacrifice; you sacrifice your love and disconnect from evil so that other innocent souls will be spared that, and so that others will be able to peacefully find their own way.

We always try to encourage each other to look at the bright side and try to understand what is the best option that can be made at the time to make the best decision for all involved.  What would Jesus do? WWJD

Getting rid of negativity  is the only option to effectively live a happier life.  Some people are bad for us, they tend to turn on our ugly switch; we don’t quite understand why but it is very volatile; and they make us say and do things that we wouldn’t in normal circumstances.  We are warned a lot of times and in different ways by others about someone’s character; sometimes like magic… our angels will show us; we may not accept it when the proof is right in front of our face, sometimes we don’t want to face the truth or we use techniques to focus on other issues; and its obvious a lot of times in retrospect that the truth is always there in our face under our very nose ~Pray for the truth; it will be revealed.  We may use defense mechanisms to protect us and keep us where we are safe, in denial;  especially if that person’s presence benefits us in some way whether it is healthy or not we are getting something we feel  like we need, even if its a lie. We find all kinds of excuses we can think of and “one-sided” coincidences are viewed as the true indication that our chapter with that person is not over and we continue to allow the interaction; it seems natural because it is effortless.  People that are not good for us will bring us down; they will cling to a good intentioned person using all the effort they can sustain.  So with one person using little to no effort the fight is not an equal match.  The good intentioned person needs to use a great amount of effort to stay away from evil. Evil will NOT let go of the attempts to keep a person on the dark side; it will pick its victim, usually a child, older person, weak vulnerable person someone grieving going through a hard time; it will keep going with a strong persistent hold until it accomplishes all it can to destroy love, unity, and everything which eliminates fear.  Evil does not want people to be brought together; there is strength in numbers; evil doesn’t want love, content, and joy in our lives.

People are hateful when they don’t feel happy inside; and even more so when they are actually hurting and miserable, they may have never known happiness or never accepted it since it is foreign to them they feel it; ignore it or turn it away. Bitter people try to bring others down, they get familiar with their target by relating to them by acknowledging and sharing similar negative feelings.  They want to get as many tools as they can (their follower is their tool) to use these weaker parts as instruments to continue their plan of action. Hateful people have lives filled and fueled by hate with strong delusional  convictions that are created with their only intentions stemming from a desire  to destroy another’s image and life.  Trying to destroy another gives them a feeling of power and control over a situation that causes them great anger; so a new life is given to fake characters that live in the life inside of the person’s mind that remind them of all the different parts of themselves they detest.  By giving life to another idea; even if it isn’t real; they feel is a trade-off for the one living in their head.  They want to divert and use deceptive talk to create the illusion of the reality they want the (desired-follower) to believe their reality.  They will create false scenarios to other potential followers willing to listen and share similar stories so that in their mind the truth is living in full force especially because now that people are talking about the story that was created it becomes the new truth and it sounds believable and accurate to others. Many people will believe anything about a person based on facts from someone else account; and sometimes it is even information from a reliable good-hearted source they can believe they can trust but a person may not know the information was just redirected to them by another person with ill intentions. It is very easy for good-hearted people to become victims because they don’t always recognize the bad in another because they don’t identify with, the “bad kid,” because they may not even recognize “bad” in people or that more shady behavior, they wouldn’t be a good judge to identify the bad in another if their moral compass is collaborated differently.

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The first clue, ask them if they have even met the person they dislike, I encourage you to always ask questions before you make a decision to make up your own mind about another person based on someone else’s reality.  Find out if they are even able to answer questions about the truth of who that person is instead of a decision based from diverted lies and made up stories they created as a current tool of manipulation.  There are some people who just get an instinctive feeling about other people; that is a different scenario; sometimes they will be able to feel the bad vibes another brings and they won’t want to include that person in their life but they won’t concentrate on hating that person they would just have a more feeling of indifference or maybe even uncomfortable anxiety when around that person.

It will always be easy to identify groups of haters; they don’t really care to know someone who can’t bring a benefit to them and they are mean-spirited and have negative intentions with their only purpose to hurt someone and make their life hell while they sit back and laugh. (insert evil laugh here)

Being mean-spirited is for the weaker souls and is really quite simple and even natural to some souls, aka… the haters!  This is how simple it happens:  They see the person; and like clockwork they begin to tear that person apart with  insults and other bully behaviors they know have worked in their past to bring down their last victim.  Bullies begin their collaborated effort with all their followers to let that person know they are not liked, accepted, and will be excluded.  Bullies know who their victims are; they pick people they think or feel will not retaliate, nice people, people they feel are easy targets because in reality the bully is a WEAK person; and needs to constantly work to feel anything other than that…weak.   Bullies have a small team of followers that are other weak individuals who would never stand up to the bully so in order to feel safe from the bully  to stand up they instead identify with the bully.

The majority of people don’t support bullies and feel much more comfort in environments that minimize such behavior but still will not intervene due to fear; they will become an additional target.  Honestly, though I don’t blame them; how many people have died just because they got involved, one too many. We need to all take responsibility and take a stand and make it our business to not allow any other human being to be abused.  Learn to practice not caring about anything else but what is right, even if you stand alone.  “One thing about following people — you will always be one step behind.”

OMG there she is ANOTHER PICTURE ! Look at her face, she is so ugly.  She is a bitch, a whore, she thinks she is all that…

“Don’t hate what you can’t imitate”

“My name must taste good; it’s always in someone’s mouth.”   “Keep talkin : you’re makin me famous!” “The only reason you hate me cause you know I’m gonna be your boss, BITCH!”

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Eleanor Roosevelt ~You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

“Words dont have the power to hurt you….unless the person who said it’s opinion has meaning to you.” Don’t give anyone power over you to bring you down does what they say matter.”

“You’re JEALOUS…Because we act stupid in public & People still “LOVE” Us.”

“Jealousy is a disease – GET WELL SOON!”

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” — Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead and sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.” — Baz Luhrmann

“Sometimes I pretend to be Normal, but it gets boring… so I go back to being me!”

“If anyone is Dumb enough to walk away, or to see your worth; Be smart enough to let that person go.”

“Nothing is Impossible, the word itself says I’M POSSIBLE” 

“Don’t hate me because I am beautiful” 

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking too much space.”

I love to feel strong and confident so I put that crown on every morning and in reality sometime it is really hard to remember.  People out there are more likely to pull another down, laugh at when another falls, or even just ignore the world around them.  Be the kind of person you want to be, and treat people the way you would want to be treated.  Some days I forget to remind myself; but I make it a point to remind others of their worth and why it’s important to keep our heads up. I am my own worst critique; and I need to remind myself I am worthy too and don’t have to explain myself to another soul, do not have to prove myself or validate myself with any others  with their opinion of me.  I try to always remember; sometimes it’s after I have allowed my ego to prevail; but I need to remind myself  I am an example to others and hold the power to make a lasting impression to youngsters  to believe in themselves even when the world shouts out not to.  Be PROUD of who you are; the person God made; and the person you are becoming.  Stand Strong  and believe and know~ really, really know that YOU can and will make a difference.  Being an example to others to accept others differences, and focus on adding a positive twist to another life. Anyone who has taken the time to get to know me in person, will tell you; I am funny, love to laugh more than anything, and I am a huge dork who finds fun in anything and everything in front of my face. I am huge advocate of female supporting other females; I wouldn’t so much call myself a feminist; but I am trying on the daily to encourage other women and keep my focus on expressing myself in positive ways more of the time.  People will tell you I will find a positive “excuse” for everything; but that just becomes a habit after forcing yourself to always find the bright side of life and bad situations.

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Gus is seen as crude, rude, obnoxious, and over the top.  Gus is strong in his convictions he is a genius in this thinking skills; remembers things that are impossible even if you tried for months; and forgets things that he uses on the daily. We both love to help other people; and have been hurt way too many times by people who did us wrong for the plain truth ~MOTIVES from the start. Gus is loving and if he cares for you he would never disrespect you; although he says offensive quite often because sometimes due to his forgetful ways; forgets to turn on his daily filter; and some days just doesn’t give a shit to when he is fed up… He actually remembers his filter more than I remember mine  😉

People have seen him out and about and he always comes home laughing and embarrassed from the awkward occasion  of someone recognizing him and saying , “HEY YOU’RE GUS FROM FACEBOOK, I follow Michele’s blog, Facebook, YouTube…” I know he loves the attention because it gives him an opportunity to talk to new people and as antisocial as Gus seems he really is the opposite and likes to spend time shooting the shit as he calls it. He has his guard up a lot of the time and will take the first que to eliminate anyone who he thinks will create a problem or cause a problem to his goal.  Sometimes, I have been the reminder to Gus to be more accepting of others and their shortcomings; not so selective due to fears and not necessarily true situations.  I am more friendly, I go out of my way to make any one  and everyone feel comfortable; I tend to bring more people around while Gus is protectively shielding us; I jump to stop his uninviting gestures and tell my cowboy to lower his weapons, smile, and hug a friend next to a tree. We both tend to be socially reserved, while we try to be there for our friends; we don’t have to make every single party or bar hop weekend we put our family first.  We love to party, spend our weekends forgetting about life; and having fun with life and everyday situations and turning them into a roller coaster of hilarious crazy clips from all the different ways we express ourselves. Together we are a  ~ complete trip as people have put it; you kind of just watch and laugh; it is hilarious… but we are both kind-hearted and really have no ill intentions more of the time.

The problem is no matter how nice and respectful you try to be to people that doesn’t mean you will get that back in return.  Some people suck, you know you don’t trust them, they feel fake and shady; they seem to act nice in your face so you feel like you like them; but then you get a mixed feeling; and then the moment you turn the corner, you hear they talk shit behind your back.  You can feel the hate right away; the negative force of those people leaves a feeling of hateful mean-ness in the air.

The current situation personally my family has dealt with are we are attacks coming from people reintroduced from the past; some of the same EXACT people who were our friends in high school.  Gus and I knew each other and were friends at that time in our lives; we both shared a lot of the same mutual friends at both schools,  Lee and Edison…

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Creations are made to cause people to be at odds, when you have a strong powerful team of love and support with the power to change the world in a positive way; evil focuses in to rip that team apart. You will find yourself constantly in a different light; you don’t feel a connection but diverted to feel a disconnection, arguments begin… and there it is… the perfect opportunity for temptations to be thrown, evil knows the best time others to strike.  The moment you give in to temptation; the 2nd time becomes easier, and the next thing you know you have new involvments in your life with easy access to you and your family.  The perfect bed has been made, so you lay down with the devil and soon you will find yourself under complete manipulation; and good-hearted people begin this journey with just wanting to help.  You wonder when all the separation from the love, peace, and joy began but you can’t quite pick the moment, you just know it was strongest when your team was ripped apart.  Manipulations to create illusions is a strong mission they will stand in; they want to keep you from the truth; they want o keep you from any validation that reminds you of God and faith.  They will rip away the good people from your life and distance them, they will be very crafty ask the right questions for future motives, they know exactly what will work and won’t work to manipulate the situation by getting to know the people involved, getting rid of anyone who will get in the way; and keep people apart that are stronger together.  They will use YOUR own fears to control the situation, and you like a puppet on a string; they will turn people against each other; for power comes in numbers.

Arguements sometimes  start off pretty innocent~

We may feel we are Not being “heard”, yes, you say that you are listening; but how can I really believe that to be true when I don’t feel I am being heard, or understood. I mean it is obvious we are no longer using effective communication, because the breakdown is always obvious for us; let that to be the first sign.  STOP! RECOGNIZE; Gus and I both tend to use humor when we are trying to make a point; we want the other to put down their ego and try to understand what the other is saying, “BOIIIIIII you better ReKanize!” “Check yo self before you wreck yo self … yo! ” The humor sometimes works takes us back to that place when we remember that we are on the same team working for the same mission. Sometimes it is a lot harder though; when the issue is a little deeper situated.

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Relationships take WORK, that is just the bottom line truth; our egos come in sometimes and we really need to put a halt to our own ego at times to be able to effectively concentrate on what someone you love is missing or needs.  It is easy to get into that,,, “oh no he didn’t,” head bobble back side to side mode and stop focusing on true understanding to be able to offer the other the support they need. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we are talking about here, every relationship we have both involved are going to need support and understanding from the other; that is what it is all about. We all need support in different ways; no matter what it is though; all in all people need each other. It is ok to need, somewhere someone made up the lie that being needy is weak.  WE all have needs and we all get them in different ways and our life companion, partner, spouse…. whatever term you use; it most likely the one we need from the most; and who will need from us the most.

Your perceptive on life often stems from the cage you were held captive in~

For me, sometimes the disconnection is made when I am talking, sharing my feelings, opening up to vulnerabilites, facing the issue or working on figuring out where the issue stems from, I struggle, so many feelings so intense; it feels overwhelming, confusion sets in and struggles begin to bring life to those with fears; you struggle through it as much as you can; feelings change; it confuses you; you feel sad, angry, hurt, and betrayal.  DON’T BELIEVE IT, DON’T Give up, DON’T Stop; sometimes this is when shut down or lose it happens… Remember there is NOT  one person in this world who can take away or change any of your fears but you the beliefs that exist in your head, you own them.  It is important during this process our network of people who will play a factor.  It is important to those relationships that we care about~ to always assist, support, and facilitate their struggles iif you can’t you are not part of their team; EVACUATE! Teams need to remind each other often, we are in this together.  We need to be a reminder that we are there to try and understand, and we need to make it known often that our own motives are for the better of all involved; will have a great impact on change; and reiteration to Pray and trust instincts.

Gus and I find it easy to allow fabulous ideas for creative creations to take off in our head, we recognize the individuality within ourselves and each other and motivate each other to achieve, we trust each other; and when we come together time and time again it has been proven that we really are a powerful couple brought together to bring each other peace, happiness, excitement, and laughter. It is funny however that no matter how much we feel accepted, loved, and understood by our other half; we still have those times that we feel the complete opposite to be true due to life stressors and our own past demons of fear that live silently in our subconscious thoughts waiting to sabotage and defend a lie. The truth is as a couple we really are great for each other; I know I appreciate the time you give me when you know I need it; to disconnect with the world around me; and reconnect with just Michele and God; and figure out a new improved plan with the current events 🙂 re-evaluating and reenforcing. Then I come to you, and I see you- I really see you shining in all your goodness; I am reminded of who you are and everything you stand for and I trust you, I know you care, and I want to love you and show you I care, and you feel it and you know its real.  You see my strength but also recognize and appreciate all my mysterious innocence the innocence you see alive in me, the innocence I remind you to feel yourself, the innocence you remind me to feel and even if we are left puzzily amazed… Even when we don’t quite understand life, and we are confused, and divereted we know one thing is true when we look at each other we know the person we have found, the person who is making the choice to be there and give it all up; when we look into our eyes we will see the truth as clear as day, this person is real, legit, the real deal; we find pride in each other, we appreciate and want a sample of their knowledge, we are in love with their strength and individuality.  WE are completely and strongly connected with that innocence that they allow to stay alive; to be able to love one another unconditionally like that of a child.  I see your innocence as well; I see it when you aren’t too focused on being your bad ass self; the hero with action plans to resolve our struggles; here he comes Gussy Gus the one that is here with interest in understanding me because you want to love me better.   I see your interest as well; and I have a strong urge to love you more and better; so like you told me; we are learing about love together and it is quite wonderful.

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When 2 become one great forces are created; and that is what othes would love to destroy. Something that not only they don’t understand; but something they hate.

I am always searching for growth and improvements in just my personal life”Michele make up”, I analyze everything, and make a point to express myself on every issue of my importance. Gus and I are similar in those ways; we both are extremely passionate people and feel very strongly about all those things important to us~ people see the energy; the animation, and the craziness but it’s all meant for good….People don’t understand it and if it is foreign to them; they fear it or turn away.  Just remember the truth always leads to PEACE.  It is always easier to go back to that moment when we hit the immediate withdrawal mode button with our finger; fears arrive, SHUT DOWN.  😦 It is ok to be emotional, it is ok to cry; let it out; when you want to shut down just stay a little longer than last time, you may think what you are feeling is wrong; your feelings are not wrong; they are correct they are yours.  You can change your mind!

 Feelings are created from fears both past and present.

While the road of resistance is hard to travel through; it does make it easy when our other half is there for support.  One tip… DO NOT TRY and figure it out like you are some problem solver to come and save the day with an instant…. Don’t think about your response; just be in the moment.  What are you hearing, what is that person feeling; listen and when you respond  let your partner know you undertand what they said by reiterating (repeat it to them), acknowledge their feelings that are NOT WRONG, but can be changed. A strong team that is connected will make stronger connections.  You may be able to even pinpoint a specific place in time with that wrong or negative impression was fostered.

Loss  of communication and the truth are just a few obstacles thrown in my path the last year.  I am errupting like a volcano with too many creative ideas, I feel I need to expel; I have an abundance of feelings that NEED to be shared to the message is clear.  Like never before, I have a feeling of suffocation; as if I am being choked of my expressions, I stop sharing them.

WE need to stop focusing on the simple logic of SOLUTIONS and AnSWERS to solve the issue; when it isn’t about ONE ANSWER but actually quite many.

There isn’t ONE thing we do that causes us to lose a connection with someone unless of course the connection it is extremely weak and easily no longer on the routed path. We connect with people for many different reasons more of the time it is due to mutual similarities, and other times it is due to curiosity of understanding differences. We decide the connections we want to keep with many differences in thinking and emotions; and each of us is different and have our own specific reasoning.

Ending this blog today with a wise word of advice~

Keep those around you who bring happiness, acceptance, and love! The people who love you when you don’t even have to try.

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Alright Gustavo we got this, Let’s make better mistakes tomorrow…

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While I am Bloggin

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Gustavo be out there smoggin 😉

Would like to give a big Thank to all the flies and maggots for coming out of my head….

A soul trying to keep Gus’s soul in the dark brings a box over full of dark writings, poetry from the past~

Gustavo: “I am not the box, that is not who I am anymore.”   TAKES a SHIT , exhales with relief “I guess I will keep the book for now to save some drawn pictures 😉

While Michele uses her graceful powerful strut to take the trash out to the dumpster; Gustavo looks down from the balcony and yells; I have never seen somone take out the trash so gracefully in my life 🙂

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