Struggle

I am a very assertive person, I was an only child growing up, so I looked for my own independence at a very early age. I think that is when I realized it made me feel wonderful to help and lead people. I do have to say, there had been a few times that I lead them to a wrong rode. 😢 I usually ended my relationship with guilt and that feeling, “I wasn’t the right leader, look where I brought them…” Even if it meant stubbornly eliminating them from my life, I care too much, and don’t feel ready to understand where they need to go. There I went~ to find my next venture, I yearned to make a change, a great change in another’s world.
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All and all today I woke up fueled with vengeance! Barely awake Gustavo hugged me with love and began talking about a short review of yesterdays problems, issues, and obstacles. We tend to both want to review quickly so we can be on same page, establish plan of action, and get to work. I do want to give him credit more of the time, he wakes me up with my most favorite… “Arnold Palmer” Gustavo calls it, “old man juice.” (1/2 Sweet tea 1/2 Lemonade) Smdh , and a morning taco in bed! ❤💝😘 Yes he spoils me more of the time.
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Well let’s just say, I woke up on the wrong freakin side of the bed.

Then it seemed everything he said was… how everything was my fault, or of I did this or that things would be different. He doesn’t seem to see it that way in retrospect, but I did.

Communication is vital because half of the way we say things is perceived wrong by the person we are communicating with, and the other half my not be understood…. Makes sense! Wrong Perception+Misunderstandings= (Recipe for disaster)

When i am pissed i usually concentrate on getting all the shit done that needs to be done.

So, today… I am going to quit allowing that candy ass woah is freakin me girl to stick around and push her the way out. I am going to get things done today! This stubborn bitch is allowed, and is going to show em’ all the shit talkers that their truth never has to be my reality.

Gustavo you really know how to press my buttons, you know how to get me going, and you maybe, you may eventually be the cause of my heart attack… But I do have to Thank you, Thank you for always pushing me to want to be a better version of myself. Thank you for holding me accountable and in your own unique freakin “take a stance kind of way”, Thanks for knowing (when it’s NEEDED) the most effective method for fueling my fire. I am holding myself responsible for the same. I love you. 💋

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