Warning, it maybe time to reEVALUATE

So, my morning was abrupt to put it into any kind of realistic descriptive words. Gus is giving me huggins…as he wakes me~
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The picture above, that’s a bedtime pic~

Let me tell you, in reality, I am gonna show you a more accurate picture of how mornings make me feel…
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The past three days were full of intense emotion, I had a mental melt -down on Friday from a long past year of struggles. My body knows when its had enough, and Friday as the kids left to spend the weekend with their dad, I let go.
PAST YEAR
It seemed one day after another we were forced to face one obstacle or setback after another, I guess that is the way life runs sometime. Facing problems within the family, job, health, friendship struggles and many many others. Forces stemming from outside world influences will bring EVIL attacks to break apart friendships, families, even a person’s spirit.  People creating fake identities on social media, lies to manipulate peoples accounts created by hackers sneaking into your network for personal motives or just for their own game of evil play. There are a whole bunch of deRanged lunatics with dark dark thoughts getting access into your home, files, personal data, and what’s even more terrifying is that is where they find access to your children.

Today children are drawn into online gaming; parents are often kept busy with the daily hustle of going and going so you can make that money to buy all that shit no one really needs.  Loving innocent children may not recognize evil they do not understand sometimes that evil exists. They just know someone is a little different ; it is really obvious when a strange spirit enters our life we feel the darkness and hate, but sometimes its very sneaky and manipulative and strikes when guards are down.  Some people allow evil to be around them because they have no choice due to family, their lonely, their environment.  We need to protect our kids because they are coming for them; in so many ways; the gaming world has games that young people are getting lost in; even before their minds are mature enough to understand the way they are being manipulated to believe and feel to be the truth.  As a parent you feel you are doing things right; you work hard try to be a good example; take care of all the children’s needs while trying to make time for other important relationships.  WE don’t realize sometimes as Gus puts it…
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miss the boat.

There is the moment when the guilt comes in, how did we miss this; and you realize it is definitely time to re-evaluate and plan accordingly.

This morning both Gus and I heard some of the “talk”  that Jay was having on his computer (his favorite place),  the Gaming World. Gus attention was caught because the person who he was talking to voice seemed a little older & different then any of the norm.  He told me and we both decided to monitor behind the scene to find out the truth.  I realized it was a long time friend of Jays who I had known had been his friend for a while; they were both young boys, different sides of the world but it seemed legit and innocent  i always remember the children by their game handle;  so i wasn’t concerned because J hadn’t been talking to anyone I knew that was new. His voice sounded different deeper and then there was a statement that was made the kids said he  only kept playing games to watch others die. Our Gus can be cynical at times and say things in a different dark way so I wouldn’t say I am a prude to crude language and I know many of us can identify with a more darker world.  E.g. PUNK music I loved as a teen

I had noticed the past few weeks J seemed sadder than usual; comments being made as if someone was saying, “rude ass shit people say during the times in their life when they are low and in the dark bottom of the world,” this relationship needs to be re-evaluated. WATCH YOUR KIDS KNOW WHO THEY ARE SPENDING TIME WITH before you lose them.

I had myself been battling a small group of specific haters on the internet; they would steal pictures, edit them and make up stories about me and even pose as family.  They would make numerous accounts on Facebook.  Slowly I started to notice more attacks; people targeting and wanting to friend me; they would then play sick mind games mocking me after things i would post or use pictures and imitate as a mockery.  I started to realize in one way or another so many of these profiles were not only fake but connected in some way.  They learned my fears by studying me and made up scenarios were being created to have me thinking my worst fears were happening and coming to life.  My blogs were being watched; the days they would attack my blog statistics would soar… 6k; yes six thousand people watching and any time there was trouble or unhappiness that is when my blog was highest.  When I was working on my retreat and speaking most of the day to God; my blog was the lowest; people weren’t interested but my attacks were non-existent. As a family our social media life will be re-evaluated the next few weeks.

After researching Gus reminded  me of reality and not the rainbows and unicorn love I prefer to think of… the DarkSide of the internet.   OMG this is what my 8th graders had warned me about.  The groups of people who specifically prey on children and lonely people which the internet is full of. They want to get into a kids mind, bully, put down, give him hope, and watch him rise only to show him he should have never held on.   The boys in my class told me; people love to watch other people commit suicide, they do it LIVE and all is paid with tokens. They make young people go and kick a homeless man’s ass, and all kinds of stuff for money.  I would always tell them STAY OFF the DARK Side of the INTERNET.  In my stupidity I thought it was only located in one area. How can we, how can we stay away from dark people; we can’t and guess what our world is full of dark twisted people.

The struggles was never about us as individuals or us as a unit but it was affecting us individually, and together. Life is hard, unfair, and depressing if we allow it we will get lost instead of paving our own way.  I will not allow evil or darkness to get anywhere me or my kids and neither will Gus.

When life difficulties come about it is easy to want to just give up and stop trying, you lose a little fire in you, as if you are in a tug of war match, you pull and pull hold on tight, tighter, as long as you can; you use more might; then you grow tired and finally with fatigue you begin to let go of the rope a little ; a little more due to less strength; then at one point you feel completely depleted; as your strength diminished with every tug; you release.

Help yourself during these times to continue to keep focus on doing those things that will lift you up.  When down you even lose desire; so you have to force yourself, go visit and spend time with someone you love; someone who makes you feel fabulous; for me Gus and my kids.  Do what makes you think, and release energy for me blogging, laughing with Gus, dress up and makeup fun, play with Gus and kids, finish all the necessary necessaries, and website work… And one of the most effective  for me personally, finding comfort in intimacy with my man.
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Find out what is going on today and everyday in the world your loved ones are involved in!

Facebook profiles are being made for older family members who aren’t even aware they have a Facebook or how to use it. Profiles are being made using groups of peoples names (e.g. group of lady friends) but it isn’t pictures of the actual person. Keep monitoring and searching for fake profiles of you and notify anyone and facebook if profiles are not legit. Search your name in variation and you will find profiles of you that may even include stolen pictures from your own Facebook.

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