A Voice for the Children~

Do you ever feel like you have so much inside you need to get off your chest; do you feel like no one cares enough to take the time and make the effort to try and understand you because maybe you aren’t worth the time to them.  Do you feel like no- one understands what you are feeling; no matter how hard you try, and as frustrating as it is, you keep trying to explain what personally you are going through; because you need the  support so desperately from your MVP, and then you realize minutes turn into hours; hours into days, days into weeks, weeks into months.

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and know they are loved and worth it

I know I have found myself in a spiraling web of confusion, frustration; and anger because I am worth it, my words, feelings, and thoughts are worthy; yet I feel abandoned, and it is always at one of the more critical moments when I need the reminder.  An illustration of what I am feeling would look like me  in the pitcher’s mound, nervous due to critical timing as give myself the self talk I need; I open my eyes concentrate to throw the ball to my catcher~ my (MVP) with the same thought process in gear I feel we are both ready to retire the batter; defend our score; and ultimately win the game.  Concentration is broken immediately, initially confused because my eyes are focused but he is not there.  As, I scroll around the field in disbelief I find my catcher busy with a different plan, he is  at first base singing, “Batter Batter Swing” and dancing to distract the baserunner so he won’t make it to 2nd.  Different strategy’s,  different focus, but all for the same purpose; we know that we are in the same game; we both want the same ending results but have quit working together.  Every attempt to try to get back in the same more effective mode strategy is hit with another distratction, because we stopped identifying the main issue at hand; and are tackling random issues at hand.  The passion that drew you to each other becomes an annoyance at times because it is so strong, it keeps us focused on the wrong end a lot of the time.  We remain fighting a battle of our own, because we are so passionate about why we are doing it our way, that we are about to lose because the we are focused on the current strategy in front of us that isn’t even the main issue.

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Sometimes, it is really hard to find your way back to that point where you are effectively working together because it isn’t easy to find your way to understanding if you aren’t trying to; but keeping yourself busy with proving your own points because you feel what you have to say is more important.   Understanding anothers behaviors, feelings is not always easy especially when outside forces are against you, stress is high, and then take into consideration the the same level understanding due to a wide range of issues~ many that are deeply strongly rooted in time and place way before…

So rooted, they are out of our immediate control due to personal history, defense mechanisms, and past experiences.
One thing I have found to be true, is when two people love and care for one another; and there’s a mutul respect, there is always HOPE.

Hope always leads to the point when the realization comes; they have been re-connected; they seemed to find their way back while trying to understand and not battle the other, they also learned a little better how to do things more effectively for next time 😉

When one trust enough to take off their “rose colored lenses”; and open’s up their mind to understand a  situation differently taking int0 consideration the other’s point of view and feelings; you would not believe the wonderful gifts that come along~ such as respect, trust, and better understanding.

The other day, Gus and I were  discussing how our children~

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those beautiful beings we have chosen to raise in a collaborated effort have so many different various needs that sometimes differ from the other siblings, and change continuously; we both really have to stay on our parenting game.

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Parenting is one of the most exciting and rewarding roles I have been graced with…

Parenting is also probably one of the most difficult job on this earth in my personal opinion

and both my partner and I both take our role in parenting and the the job itself extremely serious. Constant communication is extremely important because children’s natural ability is to get what they want by any means necessary, which may include playing one parent against the other, with parents never realizing they have bamboozled until they find it has happened.

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The fact is that we as we develop into the people we are destined to become along the way, we gather little pieces from all the different relationships we hold around us and make our world; always in that process of fixing and perfecting, UNCONSCIOUSLY~to our distinct temperament.

Our temperment is that HARD WIRED part in our brain who will determine who we shall become.  We share a family home of 5 people with distinct personalities and some of us have a few just within our own soul. 😀
I think it is really sad for so many children when parent’s get so preoccupied with their own stress and pain’s they don’t realize that their children need them and they try to concerntrate their efforts on doing temporary things to make themselves feel better.

I know there is a lot of parents who believe that children don’t have stress; they don’t have all the adult issues; paying bills; etc…

Some children are actually very sensitive; and in today’s world have a wide range of information that is at their fingertips with the internet, many are not mature enough to understand and this is too much for their immature brains.  Children deal with a lot of issues at school we don’t realize how devastating it can be to their spirit.

Children want acceptance,  they need love and attention

and in today’s busy world the truth is more and more are not getting their needs met.  Children will naturally try to make sense of their world in the best way they know how; and in order for them to get a hold of some sort of control the natural thing they do is SELF-BLAME.

Children will begin to blame themselves; “If only I….  my parent/s would be … ” Where in the world did we begin to accept the fact we are in a constant need to change this child, Children do not need to to be FIXED and/or FIX themselves; they deserve your love today!  We are given these blessings to love, guide; and not to ignore or critize.  If you don’t have time to pay attention to them; and you can’t love them then it really is simple, Don’t have Children because they have needs and deserve to have those needs met.
Children need certain things from a mother, certain things from a father, certain things from their friends, we can’t fullfill all their needs; but we should at least fulfill the one we have signed up for. There are certain needs that a child gets from their mother for example that only a mother can give… or a mother-type figure; but the more people involved to love and care for the child the better chance their needs will be met; I think a whole lot of us owe a great deal to those grandparents who have stepped in to fullfill those needs. Thankful to all those; who take the time to love and care for my children.  I appreciate your assitance; it really does take a village to raise a child.

 

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