It is such a struggle

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Such a strange illusion when a darkened porch actually contains a bright orange light, shine~ dimmed by bugs habituating in the reflection.

Such an unfair dark struggle when everyone is pointing at the stars, finding every one, seeing them shoot all over~ all the sky as if each one has its own name of blame.  While, the truth is on the other side of the world being the SUN on its brightest day.

Such a struggle to feel ~those that have needed from us, we will surely need! The strength we hold is only temporary, the power we move with vanishes with time. Time changes us and we learn anything we don’t have already is NOT really needed, but we continue on with our struggle to forever want more.

1

Struggling for the moment to be just right is rare; but the moments that find us when we want to remain hidden are everywhere.

2

The struggle of allowing everything brand new to become ordinary.  The continued struggle for that search of the newest excitement the newest enticement; which is sometimes a self-created obstacle of trouble that was properly dressed to seduce.

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Such a struggle against friction and force when tired worn brakes are stuck in motion their actual usage is working to prevent every move.

Such a struggle of relief when you wonder and wait for something to happen for so very long,  but then fall asleep just moments before it actually does.

 

Such a struggle to continue to wash the window, so those we love can drive safely; only to realize after years and decades the vehicle they drive is self-propelled.

Such a struggle we stop supporting because we are busy working, working hard to give all we have and work harder to get more to give, when all they needed was the support we held the whole time.

12Such a struggle is when greed takes cover and the person that once lived is dead; and the new person that know is.   Such a struggle when you have a moment you fall; and realize you don’t recognize yourself anymore.

Such a struggle to feel so needy you forget to feel the blessings because your too busy feeling the betrayals. You forget to laugh at the funny because your too concentrated on the fears. You forget how to let go because you’re too busy holding on. You stifle the growth that’s about to happen because you won’t water the new roots that have sprouted.

Struggles for baby monkeys whose tree’s continue to disappear; struggle to hold onto my dream I will swing in my own hammock  happily in my own yard one day before I pass on.  The struggles for humans who houses continue to be foreclosed; and all the dreams and memories are confiscated for a moment by strangers in suits who don’t care.

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The struggles for holding onto simplicity and enjoying all that God gave us in the Garden of Eve when we already were complete; we look around see ratings, likes, comments, hear click after click; are world is becoming full fledge tech before our next blink.

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One of the worst struggles is to connect with someone on such a deep level; personal level like no other before; they make you feel alive; real; and content; the feeling is so sustaining that you finally feel a completeness that was never introduced into your world before; you have become someone new; and then the disconnection takes place; usually when you least expect it; and  a lot of times when you least need it.

11

Such a struggle is learning how to walk again; learning how to talk again; deciding if you want to love again; such a struggle is never trusting again….

Such a struggle is life when you dig and dig with a shovel to make a way and just as the way is finally apparent, you die.

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