This beautiful rose is very meaningful ~ my grandma Mira is a beautiful spirit like this rose with thorns. She is delicate with amazing tenacity. She is grounded, earthy, yet exquisite in her beauty. My grandma was similar in spirit to her own mother Juana Maria/ Juanita we called “Ama”. Ama passed away in 1992 from ovarian cancer, when she passed my grandma took her planted roses from her yard and planted them in her own yard. I remember how Ama would tend to her roses and pick weeds from her yard with diligence well into her 80’s when it was her time to finally go home with our Lord. It is amazing how even when we leave this earth, so much of who and what we are continues on, in those we leave behind and even in the seasons we bloom on.
Waking up feeling a little wild in spirit, wearing my hair natural which I never do, because then my grandma tells me to comb it. The fight developed at an early age, hang on to that identity~
Growing up was a constant struggle of ~
rebellion usually won.
As middle age creeps in, I struggle with a lot of those same feelings and struggles that I have always brought to my awareness. I realize my own struggles help me to understand the differences we as individuals hold, and with wisdom I am able to know how real anger can develop~that originates from those that give us “the struggles” as we refuse to assimilate.
I have elders I respect and love but definitely bring back that feeling when all you want to do is “get out” break a way and try to make it on your own without ever looking back, move far away.
Parents often feel unappreciated, they get hurt, and frustrated and feel disrespected by their children. Parents feel they work hard to give everything they can to their children; and try to guide and teach them and don’t know why their kids can’t wait for that day to break a way. ..
The kids see greener pastures than the one they lived on… in the horizon, and they seem to have it all figured out. As parents we want to coddle them as long as possible and some want to push them out to show them, show them how easy they had it at home.
It is easy when parents take care of your needs financially, but not all the time when it is at the cost of peace of mind to some youngins. Some times people just want to be, and I mean be themselves in their own unique way. A boy wearing flowers in his afro as he walks to high school, a girl who wants to walk around in her steel-toed Dr. Martens with constant reminders of what/how they should dress. Why can’t a person stop trying to control how another person feels, or what another does if it makes them happy. Why be selfish to those you love by telling them how you think they should live, what you think they need to do, or what you think they need to become. Upholding images for the sake of who, and for what, what do “they”~ the ones who opinion you want to persuade have to offer you, and is it worth it, is it worth making someone you care about feel unworthy or less of a person?
Do you want people you love to want to get away from you, do you want people you care about live a life that includes avoiding you?
Acceptance is important to ones well being. Accepting someone for who they are while encouraging them in all they do will lead to their success in whatever it is they feel they need to do, and what God wants them to do. I am sorry, your child is God’s child first ~ way before yours. You may have your plan, your child may have their own, and God has his! Trust in God, pray… I am not condoning being an enabler to harmful behavior, but ask yourself would Jesus care about this, what would he do. Would Jesus put importance on making your San Antonio College student/child not feel bad for not attending Brown University you had envisioned their whole life. Stop asking why your family member is still single, when they are gonna have babies, why they aren’t working, why they live there, why they are pregnant again, why did they break up with…, why, why, why…. If your full of that much anxiety, PRAY!