I gave birth to a struggle today~

I gave birth to a struggle today, and left that baby at the firehouse!

Music Video Blog Theme~

I always follow my blog stats and my articles talking about God are never big hits, but let me have some hard times and vent and make a fool of myself and those stats start booming.  ~ human nature I guess… so I am not expecting this article to get many hits; but those of you who read this may need it just as much as I do!

Today I need strength, and no matter how hard I try to look for those things that build me up, strong, and firm out in this world, it always is extremely temporary.  I find peace in those who seem to hold me sincere, but a lot of those who have, can just as easily let me go…

People who have meant the world to me have betrayed me, but it doesn’t take long to come to the realization that I as a human being are subject to the same human fault whether it is intentional or not.  It really makes me think about how hollow we as human beings can be, and how its easier to just let people go, blame them and not work together.

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I remember times I felt lonely and found myself more willing to settle for the company I invited which in effect only caused me to feel so disrespected until I finally started realizing I was the one who was really hurting myself.

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I struggle today because I have such a strong yearning to be so much more than a miserable angry human and some days I feel sad as if I am fighting against a world that doesn’t understand Love, Truth, and laughs at the idea of lighting the earth with Peace.  Life is so hard, people attack, situations happen, people we love disappear and become strangers, people we need have their own needs, people we meet are not who they seem to be, sometimes we are looking~ looking and searching for our purpose and it seems the world around me is playing mind games, people are angry, mean, and think “winning” is shitting on everybody else.  What are you winning, a shit parade?

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For some reason, we are teaching each other that if we aren’t hot, mean, and on guard then we will be taken down. We will never achieve peace if we are busy fighting; the only way to find Peace is to be still; so if we need to find it in our own life; if we really feel we are just so out of sync and fighting battle after battle; it is so important to be still~ you will find that Peace; I do it with prayer.

What happens when I pray!

Everybody acts like they don’t care what other people think yet we have a world of followers, ready to follow all the people the world says are cool by their own screwed up standards.  People are so afraid to be taken advantage of once again and again that they give with conditions, strings attached.  I remember my good ol’Auntie told me once, “Don’t ever loan money to someone you love and care about, and if you do you have to give it not expecting it back because if they don’t give it back it will ruin your relationship.” 

I have often felt very proud of my loyalty only to find myself a lot of times feeling like a fool because of it.

I think one of the first lessons on my current journey is realizing that I am NOT my emotions, what ever it is I sense and perceive is based on so many factors and sometimes huge lies that the world will have me believe is the truth  based on my own current and past experiences.  Learning how to get out of the mind, and be free for the only time that really matters, the only time I am sure of, the present moment. Stopping the inner emotions, feelings, making them be silent is the best time to understand and that is when you will find wisdom.

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In fact one candle, that lights another can create enough light for more to see!

All the things we were schooled to believe, to work hard to obtain… bigger, better, fancier… for what to impress people you really do not even like; how about realizing the contents you hold have little to no meaning.  How about understanding that you are not living a life, but you are LIFE. You are the powerful vessel that will put the existence or disappearance of all things into your world. Accept the present as IS, don’t complain about how it should be or was supposed to be; but accept the present and always intend for a great tomorrow.

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I need a powerful squad, the most powerful in existence fighting such a cruel world, I need to remember that nothing can strengthen me that is out in this world; only God can give me and empower me within.

Search for the Lord and for His strength, seek his family always~ 

Psalm 105:4-5

God promises to give us strength in any and all situations and this is exactly what has kept me so close to him, he never disappoints he is always there when I stop and allow him ~ I can feel the Holy Spirit fill my soul with a much-needed peace.  The amazing thing is when I ask I am no longer confused, I am sure and secure he gives me the answers and guides my steps; and I trust him.

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Even with the truth I forget who will never let me down, the devil fights hard to put doubt in my mind; but he/she will NEVER win!

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Today’s blog is a simple reminder to all my loved ones, my supporters those reading this~if you are going through anything that is hard for you; God’s hand will uplift your doubtful soul turn your heart to him, and just talk to him.

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Don’t rely on the judgments of the world, if someone doesn’t like me I can’t dislike them for their poor judgment, nor would I blame a blind person for not appreciating my physical attributes?

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The other purpose of this blog is to remind you of the importance of wearing God’s Armor! My spiritual journey began in Adoration !

If I want LOVE, I need to just be me, not the protective, defensive, emotional person I have learned to be… but the person who is true, loyal, friendly, funny, insightful, understanding, down to earth, and giving…. when I am me, I feel the love!

I began this blog feeling lost and fearful, silencing myself and remembering the truth always works; I hope you feel better than before this read.

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