Love= Hurts vs. Mends

Love doesn’t hurt!

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Love is where we all came from.

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Love is trying to understand another person’s language

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When all you hear is … %^$#@= “NOTHING” ~

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until NOTHING finally becomes…”SOMETHING” you both understand…

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The reality of “understanding” is, just when you think you finally understand another language you find a whole new set of rules you didn’t even realize exists.

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Any and ALL relationships take work~

For me personally, the relationship is only worth it if there is a mutual understanding and deep respect.

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It is always worth the commitment if it is with the right person, I can feel it deep within my soul.

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In the beginning of any new relationship, the hard part is getting to the point where you truly feel you really know the other person, and begin to understand their unique reactions, differing beliefs, and accepting their differences and their will to become better each new day.

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It is easy to make mistakes at the beginning of a relationship, sometimes we are reacting to past behaviors that have nothing to do with present behaviors, and sometimes we are completely clueless, yet still something keeps us wanting to hold on tight.

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It takes a great deal of time and effort to get to that comfortable point of knowing what another person finds acceptable and when another person is willing to indulge in new behaviors to make you happy.

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It is also great when you find peace in realizing another person is willing to discontinue behaviors just because another person finds it unacceptable.

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art by Gustavo Montiel

It is a great, wonderful feeling when you realize another person loves and respects you so much that they learn how to live a new life together and make sense out of everything that doesn’t and always be part of the same world.

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It can be scary too, when mutual love and respect once shared seems to be fading.  It makes you wonder how a relationship can go from one point of love and respect to another point of lack thereof.  It hurts to know that both have worked so hard in a relationship to the point to begin to “open up” and you realize fears, including all those that came from long before you the unification are never fully really dead, just asleep; ready to be awakened with any similar behaviors.

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art by Gustavo Montiel

It is painful to acknowledge and then share past fears, it is difficult to talk about the fears because it is like you are breathing life into the dead, they aren’t dead if they still can have life and have the ability to suck life out of us.

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art by Gustavo Montiel

It is amazing when we meet people who care so much, they love us to the point that their mission is to give us comfort with reminding us they will stay true; and showing their strength is stronger than any old weak fear~ it is incredibly sexy when that person is willing to fight hard and brutal for you because you are worth everything to them.

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Courage comes from defeating fears, when a person isn’t afraid, and they realize the worst fear is losing true love, they realize they have control over that.  Love doesn’t come and “swoop” away a person unless they want to be.  If a person is busy loving they won’t feel love does not exist, they wouldn’t be so willing to settle for a cheap thrill and risk losing something so unique and special. They are always on guard, protecting theirs…

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Love see’s when another is weakened, and will not allow the one they love to go down, they won’t allow anything or anyone to sabotage, wear, or tear the one they love down.

 

Loyalty will never stop when it comes from love, a true heart will speak up loud and clear with confidence and actions will prove that their heart is made and committed to live a life together making sure all fear/s die with trust and determination just to show you the peace you deserve, and to disclose the “lies” that make up all fears, and with that love~ fears die!

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We all make mistakes, and we will eventually disappoint someone we love; but if a person is worth it we will work extra hard to learn from our mistakes, and forgive theirs.  We should want their respect back as fast as we can get it because no relationship is worth it without mutual respect.

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WE can all remember a time back in a relationship where a love existed and no pain or hurt had poisoned the innocence of the relationship just yet,  some of my favorite memories come from that time.  A time when you can go back to a photo of the beginning of a relationship, see complete excitement, happiness, trust, hope, and sparks of love. The picture looks too perfect all of a sudden in the present after hurt and pain have been introduced… looking at the old photo you see what you didn’t see before, you notice things in the picture that were not visible before, like a “look” in each others eyes and realize how much fun and free the beginning feels.

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Current Music Blog Theme ~

“Photograph”
Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone
Wait for me to come home
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die
We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone
And if you hurt me
That’s OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home [4x]
Oh you can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were 16
Next to your heartbeat
Where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul
And if you hurt me
Well, that’s OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
When I’m away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
“Wait for me to come home.”

I have had 3 long “lovecommitted-relationships, first in high-school~same boyfriend all throughout, second married for almost twenty years, and my current which I have been in for almost 7 years.

I know during the times of doubt in any relationship I have always found my answers through music!  I usually get through hard times with music and the last “hard time” I had, music was definitely a mood set for each new day.   A song that was vital during my troubles dealing with issues last year in 2016, was Photograph by Ed Sheeran which I chose for today’s current blog theme song video.  I am a picture taker, I have loved photographs since I was a teen and have always thought it was necessary to capture every important moment or just memory you would like to keep. I tend to visit my photo albums frequently, they are captures of my life and tell my story.  When difficult times happen it is very easy to go to my albums and remember those moments I desperately need to remember, just for a moment to give me the opportunity to hold on just a little bit tighter so things don’t completely fall apart. Going back to the memories always brings me back to the facts of what the relationship really consist of, and not allowing myself to completely rely on current emotions.  I keep all memories even the “bad” memories, it isn’t a history of only the “greatest moments“.  I look at memories and sometimes go back to the beginning, sometimes it maybe just middle, and other times just the recent; but I always want to acknowledge the complete truth.  We have to always remain real to accurately evaluate the current situation taking all of the past and present in consideration.  If we just hold onto to selective memories and think of the past as mostly happy, and you just want to picture the future frolicking first of all you are living a lie and secondly you have unrealistic expectations. I love that in both pictures and music you can go back in time and feel a familiar feeling, sometimes the feeling isn’t good and I won’t lie I have had memories that were so rough even a picture/song during the period comes to the present and I physically get ill.

Photograph 

The first thing I love about this song, Photograph~ is how true the lyrics are for me when I personally went through the hard-time in my current relationship.  The hardest part of any relationship is those periods of conflict when there is that instance of disconnection, and we actually forget about the friendship, the truth, and how much we need one another and can be each others partner, lover, actually … “everything“.  

We may feel broken or down at times due to disagreements and mistakes… but then I would listen to this song, and I would remember all of the parts of my soul that still wanted and needed your love, as long as I feel that I will always hold on to hope.

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I often look at all our old pictures, our old facebook posts, our old facebook messages, emails, and memories always flood my mind, all the songs in all our different playlist for each individual occasion.  It is strange how powerful photographs and music can be, in a way so strong “we” were always still connected in every instant.  I played the same song on repeat, and continued with the same photos and music while I waited for us both to come back, that moment of “re-connection”~”come home.”

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The most wonderful finding I have discovered is that love really does HEAL/MEND the SOUL, and this is a work in progress 😉 but love is powerful, the most powerful thing in the world if only more truly believed in it.  Love is what will always take you life you and remind you what it feels like to really live.  Love reminds you, that you will be ok, with love you will survive.  Love is the only thing that can take something completely broken and make it even better than before. Love is where we come from and it is the only thing that we can take with us when we die; and then our soul goes back home, to the greatest love of all~our Creator.

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As I listened to this song, I think about what my recent photographs show~

I can see a different type of love exists where all kinds of “pain” and “hurt” have been shared, the relationship has passed the initial “innocent phase,” graduated to it’s current, “established” status.  The photos in my current status are my definite favorites because the memories are new and fresh.  I see pictures of where we have been recently and where we still continue to choose to be and what we leave behind, forever.   I look at our eyes and see the excitement has grown to limits with fewer inhibitions, a happiness we choose to hold onto even when life gets tough, a trust we try to encourage and keep and a love that is real, so imperfectly perfect. Love is fun, and only through love with our fears be set free.

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Luiscxptures Photography

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