For all the bishes that call REBOUND; that word has become one of the most miraculous words I have yet known; and if this is rebound ~~~~ give me more!!!!!!!
It has almost been 6 months that I decided to leave the relationship with Gus; it was hard because we truly were best friends; neither of us wanted to hurt each other; and thankfully neither of us purposely did.
3 major episodes sent me over; and it was the last one that took us both over the edge and drove us apart to a place where I would find myself saying I won’t, I can’t , I will never go back…
The mental illness was too much for our relationship; losing jobs, cars, housing, all our belongings more than twice; and mix in the toll our hanging security raveled on with all the games and bullying from the “haters” who consistently worked for years on sabotaging our relationship would lead to the inevitable. We always knew we were too strong to let it happen; we had each others back and would never allow toxic to overpower; but slowly it did. People put in doubt and add it mental illness and it was too much for anyone to take.
I had to do what was right for me and I decided to do that on my birthday of this year; June 6, 2018; and I spent the rest of June and July crying hysterically because of the guilt, fear, and the pain.
During this time I met a friend who God would send to help me remember what life was supposed to feel like.
It was about a month when Rico came into my life; unexpected and completely it seemed out of nowhere. The only thing I knew when I met him was I had a broken heart, I never wanted to be in another relationship as long as I lived, and that I was going to spend each day with the people in my life who would make me forget the pain; I just needed to forget…
and he walked in and made me forget with one glance back at me after our initial meeting.
We were both going through some heavy stuff at the time; little did I realize God send me him and sent me for him. I don’t believe in promises because nothing is really a guarantee; I learned that with Gus no matter how beautiful it seemed; nothing is always as it seems. My trust was lost and really I was just ready to play and not take another relationship serious.
Rico came to me with confidence and I was attracted to that; because no one has ever stole my confidence away before; I am always on top of my game; I felt like no one was above me but God and my kids and because I put them there. I never met someone and instantly felt “they gave me a run for my money,” but something about him made me forget my name and those of all the people around me; all I knew was for the first time I didn’t remember to hold and own the world in my hands; I wanted to crawl in his and just be with him. Everything I ever knew was nonexistent for a moment in time; and I didn’t understand why, but my curiosity would send me to find out.
The first time we went out the only expectation was this is my new friend and we are going to have fun together; that was always my expectation each new day~
For some strange reason the magnetic force was so strong that after our first outing; we weren’t able to stop and we literally consistently pulled to be with each other everyday since; so what started out our journey with our anthem… our goal forget about life; and all the stress and pain; and Let’s just Get Lost… I would even begin singing and chanting in his beautiful ear… these wonderful lyrics~
On the daily we find us; losing everything we ever knew; leaving behind all the bullshit we carried for so long; losing it all because it was finally time …. and choosing to leave it all behind and learning to accept losing what is no longer our reality.
Rico I love your trust in me; the fact that during a time that life decides to tear your heart to the core; at the same time it was doing it to mine all we both wanted was to hold on even tighter to each other. When everything was in our life was showing us; everything you have known so far is not anymore and in a lot of ways shouldn’t have ever been; we still wanted to trust what we know as the truth. We both are extremely loyal for the main fact that is who we are; and we not only trusted each other but held on and watched understandingly as we closed our previous chapter. We were both always truthful 100% and honest with each other and sacrificed even during our own painful time to allow the other to do what they needed in our own way; even if we had to compromise a little understanding initially.
You always joke and tell me I will fall in love with you “later” when you show me what you can do for me. I don’t know how you can’t see I don’t live for later; and as far as I am concerned you have reached capacity 😉 …. I love you completely today; and If tomorrow I can love you more than we are truly blessed and have a life to look forward to but while I do love you for how you make me feel; I love you because of the man you are now.
I love you for the courage you show me everyday; when you listen to my fears and stay by my side. We may have started off getting Lost Together; but even more beautiful is the us we are finding together. The us; that doesn’t like to be away from one another; the wonderful attachment that makes us feel incomplete and lost without the other in the moment.
I love how we laugh so hard over the stupidest things right in the middle of this super serious life we are sharing.
I love the spontaneity of us; stopping and pulling over to dance in the rain every chance we get… it has been a rainy few months; Thank the Lord for all the opportunities to make some of the greatest memories right here in our world where ever it maybe …
I love your strength and tenacity because dumb fks can come at us from every angle imaginable; but we just actually get up, dust that shit right off and keep going.
and you’re from the hood; enough said 😉
current mode for us has been~