There really is so much that goes on it our own homes, in our own interpersonal relationships with those we are trying hard to understand, forgive, and rebuild with.
There are stages when we realize we have been through a couple or a few relationships already and still haven’t gotten a lot of shit straight.We love to blame others, but the truth is, it is our own self that is repeating the patterns.
There are times in our life where we are basically on a survival mode, and along the way, we have these beautiful children around us, and while we are trying so hard to get it right, the time comes when they our own children, reach the age when they know we still haven’t quite got it just yet.
It is hard letting down people we love, and it hurts when we truly see how we let our own self down over and over again. I think one of the most important things is keeping people around who don’t remind us of who we were or weren’t, those who remind us that we are worthy today and have always been, those who encourage us with their love.
I think what is most important is staying true to who we are at the moment; all your directions may have changed time and time again, but never forget the current target. Everything we do has a motive, I need to take note of what my actual motives are. How can we pursue what we want or think we want if we don’t make a clear plan on getting it. We all have the same possibilities, if it doesn’t seem possible maybe it is not what is supposed to be and sometimes the journey is simply coming to peace with that.
During transformations, we fail to recognize ourselves. Time comes with changes and sometimes we have to leave behind parts of our own self that we no longer have to identify with. We are born again, refreshed, or renewed by our own doing; and sometimes we become greater and finer as we age.
Refinery, it can feel great and even when it is found after time on a long difficult journey. We know our journey ultimately gave us wisdom; and then, like magic, we find the child in us again.
We notice how beautiful everything is once again, as we did when we were closer to our creation. We notice the everyday miracles, and see the miracles in others. We feel good because we feel closer to heaven even though we still are very much still here on earth. We begin to dream and wish again, and don’t get set into a “work through the grind/ going through the motions,” that the world makes us believe is the path in life. We notice the changes in those around us we love and engage with them no matter how it personally serves you because you want to make it work, you feel it is worth the work.
It isn’t easy being me, it isn’t easy blowing up all my emotions all the time, it isn’t easy having to analyze and make sense out of everything, but it gives me a feeling of peace I truly need. Home is the most important part of life because it is the escape and safe haven or at least it should be. I always tell my children, a home is just a box with walls with everything you love inside, it doesn’t matter where it is, home can be with the people you love in a field or it can be wherever you go. I know what is the most important part of me is my spirituality being able to share it with others is very important, and I am not talking about religion with human-made rules, I am talking about the inner spirit connecting with our higher source, my Lord and Savior.
There is no answer or direction better than the Lord’s!