Categories
Blog

Day 5 Rewiring my brain with Gratitude

One thing is for sure; in the deepest part of my soul; I am trustworthy and I think that is something I am extremely grateful for; when you are able to trust yourself and know that others can really trust you; it makes it so much easier to trust others.  I am not saying everyone in my world deserves my trust, and I have learned this the hard way, but I trust myself enough to know I can trust myself with very little uncertainty.

I love my family and my friends and I am grateful for their leadership to me, as well as my leadership to them.  I would never choose to lead my loved ones down a path that would make them unhappy; although I don’t claim to know all the answers; I still hope they will reach out to me when in need.  I have a very generous heart and I know my people in my world do too; I am grateful to have so many wise friends; quality over quantity each and every time.  I am grateful I have such a strong passion for life, I enjoy living, I enjoy working hard, and I really enjoy playing just as hard.  I am grateful for so many people in my life who love me for the person I am.  I am very hands-on, I don’t like to sit around and watch other people do things, I am not a television watcher, a book reader; don’t get me wrong there is some entertainment in that, but I am really grateful for people who live life with me.

I am thankful today for the people who take out time to just be with me, my family, my chosen family of choice, my squad… My partner in life; who wakes to work hard in this life with me, to play with me in-between; I feel so very grateful for all the great things life has to offer.  I am grateful for the energy that radiates from my spirit, I am grateful for always being so full of life and for those who put up with me.  Life is too fun to not be singing and dancing; and praising the Lord~

Grateful for my Rico who always cooks food with so much love for us; your food makes me wanna dance.  Thank you for loving me, while I cook for us as well.  I absolutely am grateful for you, always feeding my soul.  Grateful we coach each other, we teach each other, and we do everything together, since the beginning we even change our oil in the car together 😉 and it’s always fun; life is amazing everyday each day is never mundane.  I can’t wait to landscape and garden the rest of my future with you; not because I am holding on for better days but because each day is the best.

Categories
Blog

Do you even want to know

Continuing this wonderful LOVE journey; learning love better on the daily… Today lesson makes me think about the importance of understanding.

Proverbs 13:15 teaches us that UNDERSTANDING always wins favor.  The way of the unfaithful will always be hard; and then people wonder why love is hard.  Love isn’t hard; it’s about understanding; taking the time to understand something or someone that is different than what we know.  I think more times than not people just want us to do what they say, without much thought about reason; and if it’s even working as is doesn’t matter they just keep doing the same things yet except a difference.

Are we so smart and perfect that we just expect the world to adjust to our own way of thinking?

Maybe that is where the problem is… and more times than not, that is why fools remain fools, and people cycle around that vicious circle of same issue different soul…

Trust brings healing!

Categories
Blog

Love your life

Inquiring minds always want to know and Michele Renee well, that is me! I’ve spent my life sharing honesty, 💯, real , raw, yup; an open book. Sharing everything I understand and all I completely try to and will without a doubt get to!

The last few months has taken me on a journey unlike any other, searching and trying to hold on to the sweet memories of the past; but also learning to let go and accept the fact, the past is the past!

It’s always easy to remember the memories with golden sprinkles of excellence but the truth is the existence lives in my brain the way I decide to keep it, and the truth is, it’s gone!

The last few decades I begged God, send me love and in so many strange ways he did. Finding love in so many ways made me realize it wasn’t found on the outside, but within.

A few months ago I was hurt really bad in love and I didn’t want God to ever send me love again I just wanted to love, understand love and learn it on a whole new level…ask and you shall receive! When you give love though it definitely comes back twofold!

A better me begins each day and along the way God sends me new people to love and appreciate, it doesn’t mean any of the others are less worthy it’s just I follow my heart and trust and it’s always the way it should be. As most people will say I hold high energy, loving each day with a thrive, my peeps are always the ones with that high energy climb…. mistakes are being made but together we are learning and making adjustments because we matter individually, paired, and in unison.

Living with haters who wanna watch a fall , lol makes us laugh harder and appreciate the struggle in all ….

There are a lot of fake people who act like they love us and have our back but the truth shows, love doesn’t have conditions. I know we get mad when life doesn’t work as we planned but it isn’t our plan it’s God’s plan! It’s not about reading a few bible verses and believing it and stopping there! Let’s think about living the word on the daily even when it’s not in our selected favor, the one we believe should be happening when we want it to.

I’m sorry if I hurt you, our understanding maybe done but I never meant to hurt you. If you look at me and it creates a negative emotion within that’s not what it was ever suppose to be about. I don’t understand why life happens the way it does but this year more than ever I pray for peace and understanding and if someone is stuck in their own belief system, there isn’t much compromise there.

When you spend the last few years struggling and losing everything you worked hard for and held onto you learn to really just love what you have today and enjoy this moment.

Yesterday was never better than today and tomorrow will be even greater. Fuck that motto, “There are no guarantees!” We hold the power to be greater than before and that is a guarantee! The moment you let go of the control to be better is the moment you will skip, fall and miss it!

I’ve spent the last few months with all those people I know who remind me its time to thrive ! The haters around just remind us all that we’ve just arrived earlier so all we can do is hope one day they get there too and if not, sucks for them! 😂

In every fight the struggle is different and only quite a few embrace that and learn it enough to appreciate the blessed finish!

I’m on my way and loving each day, at last !

I have always been honestly blunt and as much as I love words and talk without much pause I’m learning too! The things we say can echo on and on for an eternity, and people give me their words and I take them for truth when actually they can often be a bunch of beliefs that only live in their head. So working on speaking only words of encouragement, hope, and always truth and if we can’t be that in each other, chapter ends! Sorry for the terrible things I’ve said in anger to you if I’ve ever hurt you. I am learning when I’m emotional, I need to talk to God first!

Categories
Blog

Why can’t I feel loved the way I want, need, and deserve?

I am angry at life for taking me on an unexpected journey. I am frustrated with friends who love me with conditions, angry when I don’t do what they say, unforgiving people who have flaws of their own. I am sad when loved ones demand and expect me to give when I’m trying so hard to just make it to the next day. When I give myself to one which I rarely do and they can delete a part of me from a certain side of their life for whatever reason they feel necessary, and act as if they are unaware. I’m hurt by times I’ve giving my love away and made myself believe it was reciprocated, and not just during convenience of desire.

I believe I haven’t quite received the level of love that keeps me secure because I have a little more to learn to reach that level. It’s amazing to realize every single one of us has the same instructions on finding true and secure love, 1 Corinthians 13 tells us the way.

We can’t just preach and sing of the word if we don’t really learn how to truly love one another. We must learn that we are not greater than any other, we all have different gifts, we all contribute in our own individual ways. Many of us have the opportunity to shine bright in the day sky for the world to see, while others shine just as bright in the night sky while most are asleep.

The truth is no matter what we have done or do, when we leave nothing if it isn’t done from love. If we spend our time with others but feel no love, we can walk away and truly say it was nothing.

Love is patient it doesn’t rush another it doesn’t keep score. If you are tally the occurrence or keeping tabs on the gifts given or received is there patience? Patience is not having an immediate answer or resolution, even if we expect a certain outcome. Patience is having a strong mind keeping high energy while staying devoted. Crisis definitely tests are patience and shows who will die at the post!

Love is kind, it is what Gods grace is all about. Kindness is being unselfish and having sympathy for another. It’s being tender toward those who show the need, and being a friend. Kindness is tolerating others especially when they are intolerable, but considering what they are going through in this world and being generous and caring for their best interest.

Love doesn’t envy another. Love doesn’t hold grudges, it learns to forgive with understanding. Love is letting go of self importance, it is not self seeking. Love is knowing that God is greater than I .

Rudeness is causing violence and creating disorder, love is not rude. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs!

The words from God!

Categories
Blog

Tired! Y u have to fight with me at Cheesecake???

Blog Video Mood theme~

The beginning of this video is so painful!  We learn real early people are assholes; all people in so many different ways they choose to be; and in so many different ways they choose not to be.   Everywhere we turn, can be a play while we think it’s real as hell.  It hurts, it hurts bad when someone you completely love doesn’t understand you anymore; and you wonder where they went.  Waiting, hoping, praying for them to come; but you were waiting for the oranges you always dreamed of as you meticulously cared for your Apple tree…

Sick, Sick feelings after you have felt one, the existence of these monsters lives in your head.

I have been an asshole and sometimes I feel like one;

when I am made out to be “mean”;

yeah; there is the cue to play my part and get real careless with my words.

Disregarding feels like you think I am incomplete; so let me complete this…

Breaking news my niggas
If your girlfriend has went to any
Season opener basketball game
Best believe, she’s fucking some niggas on that team
She’s fucking somebody on the basketball team
If she’s at the game

Right, right, yeah
I say bounce that shit like woah
Yeah, bounce that shit like woah
This is not a fairytale, I already know how you like it
Take you to the mall and get you a new outfit
Girl, that’s just some child’s play
Bounce that shit like, woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah, heard all of the stories about you
I already know and I like it
Take you to the mall and get you a new outfit
Girl that’s just some child’s play
Bounce that shit like, woah, yeah
Bounce that shit like, woah 

Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake
You know I love to go there
Say I’m actin’ lightskin, I can’t take you nowhere
This a place for families that drive Camrys and go to Disney
They don’t need to know all of our business
You wildin’, you super childish, you go to CVS for Kotex
In my Bugatti, I took the key and tried to hide it
So you can’t drive it, and put on mileage
Then you find it, awkward silence
Momma is a saint, yes she raised me real good
All because of her I don’t do you like I should
Don’t make me give you back to the hood
Don’t make me give you back

I say bounce that shit like woah
Yeah, bounce that shit like woah
This is not a fairytale, I already know how you like it
Take you to the mall and get you a new outfit
Girl that’s just some child’s play
Bounce that shit like, woah, woah, woah
Woah, woah, heard all of the stories about you
I already know and I like it
Take you to the mall and get you a new outfit
Girl that’s just some child’s play
Bounce that shit like, woah, yeah
Bounce that shit like, woah

Yeah, rode that dick like a soldier
She rode it like a soldier
She rode it like a jungle soldier
She rode it like a, yeah, yeah
I got it, yeah

You don’t wanna fall in love I know
I’m not someone you should trust I know
I give Chanel out like a hug I know
I knew a couple of your friends way before
How many girls have slept in this bed
Say a different number than the one that’s in my head
Lying to protect you I be doing that a lot
My past checkered like the Louis you just got
Married in our twenties now, where the fun in that?
My city love me like a college running back
Pack a bag you gon’ end up staying where I’m at
Took you from the hood, and I could never give you back
I just wanna let you know that someone love you back
All the Cadillac, like I’m Teddy Pendergrass
Whippin’ on this shit I’m getting ready, where you at?
Riding…

She rode that dick like a soldier
She rode it like a soldier
She rode it like a Melpomene soldier
She rode that dick like a soldier
She rode it like a soldier
She rode it like a jungle soldier
Rode that dick like a soldier
She rode it like a soldier
She rode it like a Melpomene soldier
Burrrrat stick it, b-burrrrat stick it
Burrrrat stick it, ba-ba-ba stick it
Burrrrat stick it, ba-ba-ba stick it
Burrrrat stick it, ba-ba-ba stick it
Burrrrat stick it, ba-ba-ba stick it
Burrrrat stick it, ba-ba-ba stick it

Thank you, thank’s Drake, thanks baby
Motherfuckers drunk and tired
Tired, I’m tired boss

I watched this video for the first time today; I put this song on my playlist during a hard time years ago; and have been playing it on repeat for a few weeks trying to determine what my child brain is saying…  I knew this would be the blog song immediately today.  What I didn’t realize is how much I have sounded like “her” in the video.

I made this video a few days ago;

and spoke how I told my dad over and over as a child.. I needed control over certain things… and I didn’t care what anyone thought or what anyone felt…. It all comes from Child’s Play!

This world is full of Child’s Play; all those emotions we in this world either learn how to ignore or learn how to amp up until they take over control!  We get lied to; we get cheated on; and then we may trust, just maybe even when its hard; and sometimes along the way we play that child’s play.

So many familar games; the fantasy games are amazing but the reality is manipulated by each person with what exist in their head, so you begin to allow the fears; pains to emerge and take control over everything; and you look around and realize you don’t know where you are; what felt like home seems to be buried in a mess; like an unrecognizable neighborhood after a disastrous storm.

The other funny thing is I didn’t know the title of this blog; all I knew was I feel TIRED!

2018-02-23 03-768538768..jpg

So, I just put TIRED… in the title spot (pending final title)!  I watch the video and she keeps saying she is tired, tired… and I am like yeahhhhh that is what I feel TIRED.

WE all feel tired; NO MORE BS!  It is what almost everyone serves.

 

Categories
Blog

New Year, New Me… Lol sometimes cliche just works~

wp-1483398116556.jpg

New Year, New beginnings~

Every year each of us believe we will finally get our well deserved happiness after that “one” thing~. I will finally be happy I just need that new house, that car, that companion, that job, it is a never-ending drive toward something that is going to bring me a feeling of success in this life which will ultimately lead to that grand feeling of happiness. The funny thing is, when we finally attain “______” we often times realize it is not what we imagined; it isn’t quite the answer after all; and we shift our thinking to the newest chase.

cat-n-mouse

Enter Holidays~

The holidays meet us with feelings questioning our adequacy; often times we are stressing over the answers of the questions that have yet been asked; by family and friends we seldom see; but no doubt love and care for.

wp-1483404949302.gif

What are we doing now, where are we working; what happened to “him/her”~the ex you don’t want to even think about, why are you still single, when are you getting married, why haven’t you had any more kids; why are you still with “him/her”, where are you living; what are you driving; and then the sizing up with the other “same aged” cousins, and often rude/passive aggressive questions like; “Oh my gosh your pregnant again; how many kids are you going have.” or the famous; “weight” remarks for those who are too skinny or too plump.

Exit Holidays~

The holidays quickly pass us by and leave us with feelings of ~ :/

wp-1483402580166.jpg

Gotta be more, gotta get more this year…

2017

Sadly, this is often times when we shift our focus and stop wanting, caring for, and appreciating what we already have. I am not measured by the things I own; they don’t own me; and neither does another soul; so my focus this year will be more concentrated early on, from the beginning. Keeping it real, is all about accomplishing what I set out to accomplish and making sure I realize the journey is just as important as the finish line. How I feel about me this year, how each moment makes me the person I will be at the end of the year. We all have the same number of hours, minutes, seconds in the day; we all have the same number of days; yes some of us are taking down some days, weeks, and maybe even months; but we all have the same time; we all share the same calendar; and locally the same season.

season

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time

We all have the same opportunities; hardships, and very different ones in many different ways; the truth is we can ALL obtain success on our own personal level; we can all work hard to obtain many desires; we really can; and if we strive to feel successful; we need to figure out what will really give us those feelings of success; what has given us feelings of success in the past, we need to do more of it this year; it isn’t just going to come to us; we have to make an intention.

INTENTION~ an AIM a plan; when I go to visit Jesus in adoration; I often make an intention; what my aim is my plan; a wish and plan I have to carry out that plan. If I am determined to achieve something; I make a promise to follow plan; and it isn’t bargaining with God like a lot of people try to make it out to be. I don’t walk in and say, “Lord; I need this; and if you give it to me, I will do this….” and intention is talking over your plan with the Lord; and allowing him to talk to you; and you won’t hear a rumbling voice speak back; but doors will open or close; opportunities will come or shift; and always remember the plan; keep true to your word and when you don’t acknowledge it; true forgiveness that is Jesus; he understands; get back on and stay true.

wp-1483398084127.jpg

Categories
Blog Family

Son’s need a mother; so they won’t be a DB!

14642438_10154585848115406_6038178874941544105_n

A son needs a mother to remind him that he can’t always get everything he wants; how am I supposed to expect Jay to appreciate his belongings; if it’s so easily given/replaced to him. A son needs to learn what gratitude feels like; and that is something that isn’t given in a pretty wrapper; it is learned by receiving those things that have not come so easily. I bet if mother’s thought about it this way… a girl who gives easily or only after it is earned; who do you want your son to settle with? Grateful people smile to be alive; and happy with life in general. If you give your son everything he wants; he will expect material things to make him superficially happy; and continuously look for the next fix; he needs to find happiness in the relationships he holds and his life events.

wp-1477826293835.jpg

images

Mother’s should not give our sons everything that he wants or demands. The truth is; many parents feel they have to give, give, give; overindulge try to give their son whatever he asks for. They feel guilty if they don’t; and others feel so guilty for other reasons they feel this is how they are making it up to them. There are so many mothers who jump in the moment they feel their son is in a battle; they don’t want for their son to fight they want to protect in every obstacle. Our son’s need to learn to figure out how to overcome; how will they if we don’t give them the opportunity. It is very important for mothers to allow their son’s to work things out on their own; so they can learn about the process in making decisions; and what is important as well as that our son’s have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. It is a better idea our son’s learn as early as possible. Our son’s need to learn to be resilient to the ups and downs; it is what life is about.

Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.

We shouldn’t give our son’s rewards for everything they do; especially those things considered their responsibility; not everything in life gives you a reward; and we shouldn’t be setting up our sons to believe that lie. We should allow them to work even when they are tired; as it teaches them to keep working hard, no matter what you keep going; you don’t give up.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Our son’s should get up off their butts and help out when needed; they need to know they are needed; and play an important role in this life and yes, sometimes it is what they can do for others. If a boy is concerned with others; not just himself; he will be one of those stand up guys everyone loves.

12304421_10153714966425406_4724356289406641732_o

We need to teach our sons it is ok/human to make mistakes; but it is necessary to take responsiblity and not pass the blame to anyone else. Many men; find it difficult to see their own faults and will blame someone else for everything that goes wrong. If he can’t admit his mistakes; how will he work on fixing those mistakes? I think it is important that my son feels like he has practiced enough to stand up for up himself; and others as well. He should care about lifting up another spirit when he see’s that someone is feeling down.

wp-1477826293870.jpg

wp-1477826293836.jpg

Son’s need to know that they are forgiven; and worth forgiveness. They need to know that so that they can forgive others as well.

wp-1477828969343.jpg

My Jay is not spoiled at all; he has and continues to do without quite a few things he wants very badly. When he is gifted; it is genuinely appreciated. He cleans up his own room, he sweeps; takes the trash out with a few reminders; and works hard and makes good grades. He doesn’t really ask or expect anything; and I know he has quite a few things he would love to have.

Happiness is not the absence of problems it is the ability to deal with them.

Son’s need mothers so they won’t be a doucebag; and self entitled prick!

Categories
Blog

Feed the brain and dance with purity

14100345_10154365270745406_1150978451347676240_n
wp-1477809439810.jpg13335837_10154135650345406_7847601378088148444_n

We are forever changing, we change in mind, body, and soul from the minute we are conceived to the day we take our last breath. Who we are at this very moment is determined by both our past and present; we change our minds with new knowledge and understanding.

12011132_10153592665835406_3755831476422912423_n

I have always been determined to understand how the mind works and all the different ways we can manipulate our minds to change my own way of thinking. The ability to change my own mind and its way of thinking in a completely different and new way than it had been previously conditioned to; that is amazing. If I really have the ability to change my thoughts why would I ever choose anything other than happiness? The plain truth is that our thoughts create what we think and believe to be our truth; why would anyone pick anything other than happiness?

10945140_10153224348665406_8949337399834188918_o

The real issue is that we have to actually get to that point where we get our mind to become more pure. Letting go of all those thoughts of fear, is hard especially because many of us feel we are leaving ourself vulnerable. The ego can be very strong at times; we really have to fight the ego to shut it down; and when the ego is gone; we aren’t fixed on being right; or protected; we are just comfortably pure in heart and mind. While in college and studying Psychology; I found myself obsessed with the brain; I felt the brain was everything; even more than the heart;

wp-1477809439793.jpg

because our brain determines the beats of our heart; but the argument will continue as neither can live without the other. Think about this, we need to really work on our brain to change our heart. The problem is, people expect other people to make them feel what they want and expect others to take away those fears that they don’t want; don’t depend on anyone else; it is not their job to work out your salvation.

Back in the old testament; the word heart and mind was interchanged; meaning when they spoke of the heart; it was our mind~ the center of our being. The scripture tells us that the heart of man is anything but pure, in fact, it tells us the human heart is wicked. We learn that a change of heart is necessary for salvation. We are told if we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts, we can be saved; why then would be not want to work on making our hearts pure. The heart will show us the way!

11040579_10153243677570406_7437778623060246720_n

We are all born equal in many ways; but unequal in many ways as well; some people are born and are able to acquire all the earthly goods they desire; while others struggle to just get basic needs met. If you have been on both sides; you will know there is a difference and sometimes even with more money comes more problems and more greed. The greatest wealth is contentment.

12038120_10153602311490406_24865468769795342_n

The greatest gift in our world is health; we can have all the possessions we want; but they have to be replaced before we even realize it; and we can’t enjoy anything in this world, or work for what we want if we don’t have good health. I think it is very important that I begin to realize I need to take care of my health; self-care is us, taking care of our gift. We need to take care of the body, mind, and the spirit.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.”

wp-1477809439795.jpg

WE also need to keep relationships in our life that help us grow; and help us achieve a pure heart. The best relationships are those that hold faithfulness.

Everyone has their own purpose; if your purpose is to make orange juice; you will never get it from the apple tree.

wp-1477810999200.jpg

So many people hold on to guilt; or they want to hold on to a person who they think owes them something; they stalk; or will continue to keep that person alive in their own head even if it is in a negative way. This is not healthy for your soul…

305422_10150421982360406_1916923029_n

It is not your job to save anyone; you are not put on this earth to be in charge of anyone’s salvation but your own, don’t hang around fools you feel sorry for; thinking you can change them.

12363017_10153735392325406_5285490328019327850_o-1

12227727_10153673437500406_2418004748844024948_n

Everyone who is on our life; that we have any type of relationship with can teach us something valuable; and we can teach them what we need to; as well. We must continue to learn; and never ever think we know all there is to know on any subject.

I find it very offensive when people assume; that any further education is not important; and that people who have gone to further learning are blessed by being “book smart,” they seem to believe it is all about memorizing answers and spitting them back out on a test.

wp-1477810999198.jpg

Categories
Blog

Rick & Jeannine Tune 25th Wedding Anniversary!!!

wp-1471492919856.jpgwp-1471492919860.jpg

wp-1471492919866.jpg
Rick & Jeannine Tune

Attention everyone! (Spoon to wine glass)… clink, clink, clink…

I would like for everyone to welcome the wonderful Rick and Jeannine Tune celebrating 25 years of marriage today!

The “Bride” and “Groom” song begins~


Traditionally, in formal wedding ceremonies the toast is given immediately following the meal… The opening words are so important because they set the tone for the rest of the wedding ceremony.  During the celebration; 2 very close family members of the bride and groom shared their sentiments~

In honor of the most-awesome Bride and Groom~ these two~loved~ones started the night with a heartwarming~Toast;) 

wp-1471647993075.jpg

Below is a copy of the sentiment that was written and shared during this beautiful 25th Anniversary celebration~by Marisa Rodriguez 

wp-1471492919697.jpg
My beautiful 1st child~Marisa
wp-1471480281051.jpg
Marisa gives the first toast to the bride & groom

Love is a four letter word. Love, holds great meaning~ to some more than others, and I would definitely say that’s the case with this lovely couple who I, and many others call Auntie and Uncle Rick.

wp-1471492919817.jpg

Lots of us wonder, if soul-mates exist. When you see Uncle Rick and Auntie together, you can feel the depths of their heart, a heart so passionate that together their dreams still continue to become a reality 25 years later.Their love is an extraordinary love, the time and commitment they put forth ,that’s when you know true love exists.
I may not be a “Garza” woman, but I come from the family line. So don’t take offense when I admit that many would say that we can portrayed as bossy women. Think about it yourself. We want things done our way because we know it’s the better way to do it. We can be stubborn when it comes to compromising, and as it may seem we want to take control. It takes a special kind of somebody with patience, love, AND understanding, to want to play with that kind of fire, and it takes an even stronger person to let go of that control. To give all the selfless love it takes, it takes someone who is far from weak, it takes someone with intelligence, to work hard for someone & somethinglove” so worth it. And that is when trust and respect for one another is created.

Thank you Uncle Rick for loving my Auntie in a way better than any of us would’ve every imagined.

I know I don’t know everything you all have been through, or struggled with. But, there was a hard-time that they went through that I do remember, when Uncle Rick had a near death experience that took a lot of repairing, mending and even more love/faith. My mom remembers that as one of the hardest times that Auntie faced, when she had to become the strong force for HER rock. It’s funny how weak you seem during those times, but in actuality your strength is being shown in the best way. The strongest love is love that can be demonstrated when you are the most fragile.

The truth is it takes a strong heart to love, but it takes even the strongest heart to love after the struggles.

Some may look at the two and think, what do they have in common?

wp-1471505367618.jpg

Uncle Rick he’s brass and bold, and then there’s Auntie she’s prim and proper. He loves fishing, hockey, the Cardinals, and he’s from St. Louis!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Auntie she likes to read, politics, forensics, her “shows” all the way to Oprah to Jerry Springer, and she’s from San Antonio!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The truth is, these interests may come and go, there is one that has never changed for them both, the interest they hold in Each other. Don’t let them fool you!

They are similar in the way that they love people.

wp-1471492919710.jpg

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Both of them would stop everything they’re doing to help a family member or friend. They both work hard in their own ways to make sure their loved ones know they are remembered and thought of. I don’t ever remember not receiving something special on my birthday, or a graduation, or any of my special days. They have personally showed me the significance of being thoughtful.

The way they care for people and always keep an open mind~

wp-1471556598651.jpg

Auntie and Uncle Rick don’t have any children, but they have nieces, nephews, and god children.

wp-1471647579349.jpg

And~ I know we can all say we have thought of them as the cool parents at least one time in our lives. We’ve told them things we haven’t been able to tell our own parents, we’ve had crazy summers of swimming, and eating junk food.

Or having tea parties

wp-1471647992748.jpg

in bed while singing Britney Spears

OR staying at the Emily Morgan hotel

Press this if you want to know more about the history of the Emily Morgan Hotel

all while doing gymnastics at 3 am while the ghosts haunting us~~ adds to the excitement.

And I know Uncle Rick has his own stories with the boys. And if you want me to write&toast about those times Uncle Rick, take me to more Cardinal games. 😉

fb_img_1471662384827.jpg

wp-1471492919830.jpgwp-1471492919745.jpg

Uncle Rick and Auntie, they are the kind of couple that will want to know your favorite color, and will remember. They are the couple that is easy to laugh with, because they just get it. and at the end of the day they’re the ones you just want to chill with.

So in all the ways you may think they are different, there are more ways they are alike.
And this glimpse that you see on this very day isn’t just for the occasion. Because for 25 years we have witnessed that look they continue to give each other, they choose to fall for one other everyday. The days that they drive each other nuts, and the days they always have the others back. Marriages fail so often nowadays , it’s easier to fail than to succeed. But when you have two people with a familiar heart, a heart unlike any other, you’re going to see something rare, something different, something unique, we’ve all seen it, their love!

 He is hers, and she is his.

I know this is the longest toast you’ve ever heard, but this is the way we do it. Please raise your glass as we share a toast in celebrating 25 wonderful years of marriage for Rick & Jeannine Tune, and many many more years.

wp-1471480281237.jpg

Time for cake

wp-1471480281199.jpgwp-1471480281222.jpg

 

and spending time with loved ones…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

and Auntie& Uncle Rick never allow their guest to leave empty handed… a few goodies from the goody bags <3

 

 

The end……………………………

                                                                Well, you will hear the rest at the 50th!

wp-1471647579351.jpg

Thank you Uncle Rick ! For all the love you have shared with me, my kids, and especially my auntie!

 

20160819_174933-1.jpg
Thank you Auntie for giving so much meaning to the name “Auntie”, and for taking care of Uncle Scoots 😉

wp-1471666474452.jpg

This has been a Mother- Daughter Collaboration!   fb_img_1471640779485.jpg

Michele Renee & Marisa Ann

Categories
Blog

Life and living with crazy minds, it really is beautiful

We can be our own worst critic anyday~ Monday-Sunday, and everyday if we allow it. Why do we choose to put regret and blame on ourself when we have other choices available to us, those that give us grace. . “If only I had done this, If only I had done that“~ life wasn’t supposed to turn out that way…. if it was it would’ve happened that way. The minute you use your energy on “what if’s” you need to be sure that your very next moment is used with   all remaining stores of energy focused on “WHAT WILL BE.”

fb_img_1469905873676.jpg

There is not ONE person on this earth whose happiness is dependant on me, besides me of course. There is not one person’s happiness that is dependant on you, besides you of course. Yet, we like to believe we hold that much power 😉 over others we love. If only, my spouse, my children, my parents, my family, {ENTER YOUR PERSON HERE}~ would be so much happier.

fb_img_1469906044374.jpg

My other half; Gus <3 is what his mother called him; suffers from bipolar disorder. I think I suffer from bipolar disorder as well; although I have never been properly diagnosed by a licensed physician on any medical form saying I have bipolar disorder.  I guess some would consider me, a “BiPolar Wannabe.” However when I was fifteen years old I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Manic Depression; that was previously a diagnosis given in the past by clinicians who presently call it Bipolar Disorder. 🙂

I understand this illness as if it was my parent; and I, its golden child.

wp-1467189408929.jpg

In the beginning I told myself I wanted my degree in Psychology, so I would be able to help others.The most effective way to help another is to assist them by allowing them to help themselves; by understanding themselves just a little bit better.  Anytime you help another, you help yourself; and I’ve spent so many years helping others; that I finally can say; I know myself pretty well. 🙂

Bipolar has a really bad rap due to our media; because anytime someone does something crazy/out of the norm the term comes out, the person had bipolar, really you think they were feeling an extreme emotion?   As a society we like to make sense of things and even more than that we have a strong need to put blame and find the “cause” of human behavior, especially when it’s negative.  We live in a country today; where medically we are treated by how much our health plan allows.

Can we even imagine those who have yet been properly diagnosed; there are many who have never been treated properly, with a strong urge to feel normal or feel like a normal human being ; they choose self medicating; they often  self-treat with drugs.  They find themselves doing irrational acts; and the deranged individual is seen as some poor drug addicted  bipolar who society is ready to throw away; and the blame~ they were bipolar and on drugs.

I admit people will generally use all the cards they are given if it’s for their own personal advantage, plenty blame  their own cause of action/s on their own personal card whatever it maybe.  The moment you use your disability as a crutch, you have made yourself its personal bitch.  YOU define your own behavior by your choices, even those you don’t understand; so the best bet; get help; even if it’s just talking to someone who understands and will guide you to letting go of that crutch.

Bipolar Disorder is  extreme high’s and lows in your emotional well-being. Think about the happiest most high feeling you have ever had.  Have you ever just enjoyed being~ you wake up~hell yes “dab”, you look hella awesome~ “double dab,” you pay the rent~dab, you get the front row parking~get out and dab; you go through the line at the grocery store extra fast~hell who ain’t gonna dab to that shit… and the rest of the world just kinda wonders; what the hell you are on… You get it often enough; “I want what you are on”... and you just wonder why the rest of the world is missing it all.

fb_img_1469905885574.jpg
Today I shall dab after EVERY SINGLE accomplishment~

You are invincible, you are on top of the world; ready to conquer it…

fb_img_1469906457144.jpg
I was put on this earth to RULE the WORLD
fb_img_1469906445535.jpg
Our ideas are out of this world, extraordinary, fueled with creative energy we can hardly contain our passionate ways… 
fb_img_1469906165184.jpg
Sleep; who needs sleep I will sleep when I am dead; I got about 205 projects I am trying to conquer in the next 24 hours… 
fb_img_1469906330368.jpg
Your family wakes up at 5 am from your shrills of delight in nature like you have never seen it before…
fb_img_1469906010526.jpg
I got cute animals to find; bond with, for I am ACE VENTURA; I will bring them home because we are a family.  <3 HUGE HEART magnified > realistic expectations

As one frolic’s around in their happy life; it happens~

fb_img_1469905957620.jpg

fb_img_1469906071559.jpg
Everything and everyone seems irritating!  

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

fb_img_1469905860778.jpg

What ever it is you are feeling it is always extreme…

Paranoia~ the world is my enemy; they are all in on this…

fb_img_1469905897802.jpg
There they ARE again; I only ate  a few grapes; every aisle they are looking at me; they are the GRAPE POLICE, and just touched their phone 3 times; definite ~GRAPE Sharp Shooters have been alerted; and OH MY Gosh their phone is purple; like the grape I ate.  

Insignificance

fb_img_1469905880324.jpg

Why is Gustavo ignoring me; OMG I am NOT loved anymore; I am boring I am not interesting….I am not loved, no one cares, no one loves me i don’t know whyyyyyyy

I often use humor to get my point across but really this is serious because the lows and get you pretty down~ think about the lowest low you have ever felt, I mean suicidal thoughts type of lows.  You try to ,you try hard to be happy ~ but the world we live in… makes it so hard.

fb_img_1469906365257.jpg

fb_img_1469905923887.jpg
People we love telling us how and how NOT to live! What happened to acceptance; accepting differences…or just plain respect.  
fb_img_1469906003386.jpg
When you have grand feelings like this your actions will be INTENSE , some will cringe; but they can work on getting use to it.  

There is nothing to ever be ashamed of; unless you hurt someone else or yourself; then you need to get that shit fixed.  Have fun be you, be colorful; life is too short to take it slow.

screenshot_2016-07-30-14-15-28.png

Haters will always exist, if they want to stare at your ass … let em kiss it while you live your life away!

Because we all now that is what it’s all about

When your other half is one end and your on the other end

Yesterday~ I was beating myself up over Gus’s depression, I hold a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and I can’t even make his depression go away what the hell is wrong with me….. Today~I wake up and wonder who the hell I think I am; I know tons about depression but that doesn’t make me the DEPRESSION WHISPER…
When we care about someone we don’t think about fixing them. We are just there for them.

fb_img_1469906265095.jpg

Especially when they are NOT feeling like they should be 😀
Many wonder if it’s hard to live with a person or be a person with a mental disorder.

fb_img_1469906380602.jpg

Bipolar Couples

fb_img_1469906313242.jpg Bipolar couple in full bad ass effect

fb_img_1469906152889.jpg
Imagine 2 people on top of the world; patting each other’s back.  Doing the same gun point to your pal, wink, sound effect~click to one another.  
fb_img_1469905947385.jpg
ready to annoy the world; when we really just mean well 😉

Don’t get me wrong bipolar is not some wonderful circus where you are always the #1 performing act… and while it is nice and wonderful to find someone in this world who see’s things just as strangely as you do; it isn’t always so grand; most of the time yes 🙂

It is interesting; always exciting, and it is like dating Ghandi one afternoon

and spending the night with Tony Montana but it is the same person.

fb_img_1469906217013.jpg

The bottom line is

When you have 2 passonately fueled people as you can imagine the SEX is magnificently great; no inhibitions, two souls feeling an ingnition and basically never wanting it to stop… the creativity never ends; there is nothing missionary about our love.

fb_img_1469906256559.jpg

but  when depression comes around you have to understand from one day to the next… a significant change will occur… we can’t take it personal which is hard when rejection is on such an intimate level.

One of us maybe ready

fb_img_1469906225045.jpg

excited for the next sexually explicit marathon~

fb_img_1469906260861.jpg

you can go from having sex all day (weekend delight) to what the hell

fb_img_1469906347361.jpg
back turn  ahhh it’s all good 

fb_img_1469906280161.jpg

 I’ve got my own bag of tricks … 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Why won’t you touch me today, I am ugly, I don’t turn you on wahhhhh LOL; then he laughs and say’s it’s amazing how I can believe those things; when we both know what we share.  We need to turn that rejection around in our mind it is a choice; I am still his peach; just need to get in that cold shower; and refrigerate this peach~

and he knows he is and will always be my Sir Psycho Sexy

all in all the main fact is…I am blessed! YOU are blessed; count your blessings TODAY!

 

Special Thanks to those artist I do not know who allow me to use thier special creations as my images in my art.  Artist supporting artist <3 and special thanks to the following muscians who inspired my thoughts as I blogged….

I hadn’t heard this song in years! When I was young; it was written for me & sung to me, I was 18 smitten so  I married him because I believed him; and it’s what my heart wanted. He lost that feeling I guess , we faded; moved on… but I still want this; I want a fool, fool for me; for real !!!  Some don’t like being called fools; that is when you know; you’d been strip down to the uncomfortable level and it’s all still ok; just as long as they are by your side. #lovefools rule

fb_img_1469906190490.jpg

Categories
Blog

Gus and the real truth

pulp

Gus, everything about you is interesting; and I appreciate all you have done for me the past few weeks.  I know it has been difficult for the both of us.  We have been real and ripped each other apart and we still want to believe the truth that lives in our heads and wrestle with anything else.  Hearing what we thought happened or believing that the current situation was or could be different than the beliefs we hold is one of the hardest things to do. We are a unique couple of people we share so many similar interests, fears, but more than that; we continue to try; not give up on each other because we see the greatness that lives in each other.  At one point somewhere someone may have twisted things in our head and we believed them.  The thing is we remind each other that the lies are nothing but that but more than that we trust each other enough to believe it. WE also have discovered together that no matter what we say, how we feel, how we disagree… we still continue to talk because we know that our will to know each other really know each other because the level of intimacy we have discovered is worth every fear that kept us believing lies.

burgers

I love how you talk to me in all your different personalities; all those people inside of us who exist but I am in love with all of them; the one who is obnoxious, the one who begs to be taught~ wants to learn wants me to teach him everything he wants to hear for the first time from a woman who knows what she wants and will show him what she wants from him, the one who becomes this strong confident man who I have elevated him with his own unnoticed truths.  Telling him all those hot things he does, how he holds me firmly and shows a strong thirst 100% thirst for me even though he just had me 3 times earlier that day.  You make me feel amazing I make you feel amazing and together we create a fantasy of reality on our own. We enjoy all the variety that life craves; but only in each other; so we discover what it is that we are searching for ; and we become the dream and its always amazing.  It is exciting and invigorating I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.

Our love is so strong from all that we understand in each other; but even more from all that we don’t understand but want and work hard to….

People can talk shit; I would do anything for you, I would die for you; but come on would they live for you?  Face the demons of life just for the sake of releasing it another soul.  You are 100 brave; you love with all you have, you put down your pride and allow me to be the woman I need to be; the woman that makes me feel amazing, special and completely different from the others; because I am in a totally different category.  You will give me all you have, even your weakness… sounds of a barking dog; or a donkey it doesn’t matter…. All that matters is loving me so I pull you over to me because your reinforcements are just those things I need because you take the time to study me. WE never allow others to mind fuck us; and if we do for a while we remind each other the truth… WE are in control and together we are the bomb ass diggity dawgs around…. AAWWOOOOO

Nothing is hard for us, together we find comfort because we have allowed ourselves to be weakest with each other together… Our love is one hell of a crafty mind fuck but its ok because we are having the time of our lives.

making us never give up on our blocks… When stuff comes out from the past; the past long before we were connected.  I know that no matter how hard life gets I know that there is someone by my side who isn’t afraid when it comes down to it.

Hearing how you have hurt another person especially someone who you love, is hard for us… and you still need to know when and how you do it even knowing that you love that person so much. Sometimes it is hard to see another’s view because it is not our reality. We try and understand anothers reality and then we together decide to create our new reality together.

It is a beautiful feeling when you recognize that you are willing to face hard truths you could never admit before; let go of the denial and face it, understand, share, and love.

Written by Michele Renee Trevino-Rodriguez  future-(Montiel)

Categories
Blog

Few Days Home from St. Matt’s 2k15 Teen ACTS Retreat and the demons are out…

St. Matt’s 2k15 Teen ACTS Retreat was AMAZING!!!!

wpid-20150726_075602-1-1.jpg

The DEVIL is pissed!!! Each one of our souls was just reassured of the great feeling of love; we all are feeling so brand new.  The devil hates love and happiness; but prefers anxiety, fear, and hate.  Anytime that we get closer to God, display support and encouragement to others; there the demon comes… quick to pick the latest victim and will use the weakest and will target your weakness to get to you.  Evil hates  comfort, evil wants a fire of negativity to take over and make everyone feel completely miserable.

wpid-fb_img_1438554364947.jpg

The only way to win; is when you RECOGNIZE, remain strong and fight ..

“We will not allow him to win”!

wpid-img_20150726_153154.jpgwpid-img_61621.jpg

We have to remember the strong need to acknowledge and realize what is going on in order to effectively plan our smartest solution to take down the attack. We are caught off guard and unprepared when we are full of the Holy Spirit and we aren’t in fight battle mode.

Our REAL WORLD consist of people who can be very mean spirited.  People are lonely, bitter, depressed, confused, and many just plain out mean. Mean people suck! Cold-hearts laugh at the bonds created and love shared; they want to believe it is a lie.

e

When we put our guards up we often forget about all those beautiful supportive souls who comforted us at our time of need. We may even find ourselves questioning the validity; and create our own suspicions of those that really are on our side. We don’t want fear to allow US to doubt the true spirit of those who we have bonded with.

wpid-wp-1438563414337.jpeg

If you stop for a minute, and just pause you will be completely aware that you have a purpose and it has been made clear time and time again.  If you ask God he will tell you; but we quickly allow our thoughts to be clouded by all the people who are not on our side, for whatever reason that maybe. HANG ON TO THE TRUTH for as long as possible.

The moments we get clarity during bonding or when we talk to those who love us, we believe and we know we want a better life; we vow to aim for it.  The moment the confusion comes back; all the questions and doubts we allow ourselves to release the truth.

g

I think it is is funny how people love to talk about the Jesus high after the retreat because they don’t quite understand those moments of clarity and support.  Christians are an easy target to laugh at or make fun of; especially because for some reason in order to love God and spend time with him we are expected to be sin free.  People will point out how we are hypocrites because we are praying singing to the Lord and the next minute we are seen not being so perfect; because the truth is we are sinners just like them; we love God and make an effort to talk and think about him; many of us have struggles of our own and searching for our own answers; but in the process we choose to serve and assist others to find their way.

wpid-fb_img_1438565830921-1.jpg

We think all would be fine if we could just want run back to the beautiful Tecaboca that special place here on earth that feels so heavenly.

wpid-dsc_0121-1.jpgwpid-dsc_0120-1.jpgwpid-dsc_0119-1-1.jpg

It has started with me already; the anger I am allowing others to make me feel.  Life doesn’t yield or wait it just comes up in our face at times we are feeling already weak , alone and unsure.  Life is beautiful too don’t get me wrong; think about LOVE for instance; Love is the greatest feeling ever; so completely magical and fun.  All the new feelings and ideas are mixing with all the old feelings and ideas the next thing you know we forget with all the busyness to make the time to work on our relationship with God, and we go back to allowing the earthly lies to dominate our thinking so we can get instant satisfaction.  If we know this; we can deal with it and realize we are fighting a war against lies.  When we don’t allow the demons to have any power; we will realize we can have peace.  WE have to sometimes, take the initiative of being proactive and eliminate negative factors from our life, even if it’s hard, makes us sad, and full of doubt don’t keep it to weigh you down; or you will never get your magnificent flight to soar.  Don’t ever buy into the lies of losing your precious integrity and all you stand for ; by allowing ourselves to be brought down by people on a different mission; and tempt us with instant gratification for the sake of long-term peace.

d

You have to know the truth; God spent this awesome time with you so that you can go forth with the wonderful message; seed planted; that he gave YOU and only you.  You may have a completely different destiny than your friend; or your destiny maybe to spread the wonderful message together; as long as you bring out the best in others; the personal growth has no limits.  It is amazing how it works, kind of like when you lose/gain weight and you really don’t see it within yourself because you see yourself everyday.  One day you just realize the old is just gone; and you let it go; it isn’t working for you or helping you blossom into the beast you are meant to be.  You just feel differently or think differently and can’t really explain why, but you have left the place you were; and are bound for greater places if you choose.  People will follow greatness, they always do!

wpid-fb_img_1438557163367.jpg

Anytime you find yourself in that place where you want to revert to the old; that is when you need supportive friends who want the best for you and above all, God.  You need those who keep you focused on your goal, and remind you why it’s out with the old in with the new.  It is so important that we surround ourselves with the kind of people who make us feel alive and ready to propel to greatness. We should surround ourselves with those who are also focused on growing/thriving in this life, not just another body allowing their soul to disconnect and sleep.

REMEMBER to REFLECT!!!!   Always reflect over the choices you have made and the choices you are about to make.   Pray for guidance and keep those around you with the same morals and beliefs to keep you focused on staying true to yourself; especially when temptation comes around.

Our relationships are as good as the effort and work we put into them; and that goes the same with our relationship with God.

When I was asked if I wanted to be part of the team by the adult and youth directors I knew it would be a commitment, that word alone is scary.  Helping any team with Planning and organizing a successful event always takes dedication and I wasn’t 100% sure I could commit with kidney stone issues and all.  This would be my Marisa’s last year as a youth at an ACTS retreat so I knew It would be a one of a kind experience being able to be a part of the most important thing she was doing at this time.  I bonded and fell in love with my fellow team members dedication, energy, and innocence.  I began this journey praying each day I would have an effective impact in just the way God intended; and then I realized I was the one who was impacted in the end. I love each and everyone of the beautiful people God has surrounded my life at this time with.  God puts those people together who will have the most powerful effect, he wants his work to be done; and he hand selects the people he places in our lives.  I think it is really hard for us to realize sometimes our time with certain people is complete.  I am often proud of the work I create; but nothing can beat the power a great team can create together with every awesome individuals unique gift.  If someone is for you, encourages you, assists you… they are the partners in life who will push you to greatness.  If someone is forever in a pity party, denying, lying, and bringing down your spirit; pray for them… and don’t allow yourself to question another day if they are telling you the truth or not.

wpid-fb_img_1438559758669.jpg

Categories
Blog Family

2nd Marriage, Cheating, and Socrates ;), the next one

What is it that causes love insecurities?  I feel very secure within my self; and I honestly don’t have any doubts about my significant other finding a better replacement.  I know I am a treasure; honest; true, loyal; hardworking, funny, caring; and understanding.  When it comes to comparing me there is no comparison to his previous relationship.
image

Yet still, I have this awful dreading issue regarding his past lovers; and how I fear during my insecure moments he loved those hers greater and more intense than me.  Yes, that bothers me; because in every avenue i go down; I realize I am and will never be his first in so many ways that I would like to be.  It is like that when you meet later in life.  In fact, not only am I not his first but I often wonder if I even come close to the feelings he had before and that makes me sad.  I feel so deeply in love that I want to be the one who gave him all the best of all the “bestest moments“.  I have allowed his ex wife “HER” to get into my head with her, “everything he has done for you he’s done for me”, ***bull shit she has thrown.  You are so stupid if you think I am getting “left-overs” the man I love is always new and improved; and that is viewing only the past four years.

I really am sorry, well not sorry;  it didn’t happen for you. I guess a simple legal piece of paper isn’t the magic wand after-all.  **NO COMPARISON at all…we share honesty, fun, respect and loyalty ; the best things in life that were absent from your relationship together.
image

He made the decision to not only love someone else before; but even the decision to marry that other entity.
image

LOL  I know for me; when I first married; it was not a thought out decision; it was more of an extreme spontaneous decision.
image

Growing up; I spent my whole life imagining my wedding; my future husband; my future family and it was/is nothing I dreamed or imagined, its even greater.  The plain truth of the matter is; when I married I was eighteen; dumb and on a massive roller coaster ride of emotions.
image

I am older, much more intelligent and wise.  When I married the first time, I spent a lot of my time depending on simply hope.  I think the difference this time around is that I am making a decision to want to marry and spend my life with someone else with much more wisdom and experience.
image

I have always known I was always a pretty flower; and I am not talking about my outter shell.

image

Today,  I really feel like a beautiful garden of flowers with so much more beauty, aroma; and strength.
image

During my first marriage, I was a bundle of fear; who had the capacity to hurt in ways I would soon learn are not only noneffective; but permanently damaging to my integrity; my soul; and my partner.
image

I felt perfect; and believed it was my mission to find someone who saw all my perfections.  I now know that I am perfectly imperfect and would love to share my complete perfectly imperfect soul with another soul who see’s my perfections and my imperfections and loves me just the same.

Someone who would feed my soul when I am thirsty, and shield me when I am weak, I realize I am expecting so much more than before.  Much more intense
image

Every day I am alive, I want to grow and blossom to my fullest potential God will allow…
image

I refuse to settle on just any other soul and deprive myself of love!

Awesome, real, intense; world shaking kinda love, won’t settle for anything less!

The kind of love that feels so intense that thoughts of fear, jealousy, happiness, respect, anger, pride, hate, love, laughter, loyalty, faith, envy, and curiosity enter your thoughts in more ways than you can quite imagine.
image

Never allowing blinders and vow to never allow damaging denial.  The bride who went in the first time wearing that white beautiful veil (I always dreamed of) left the body
image


and this bitch
image

wants to see everything she is getting herself into.  A second marriage is made in a completely different mind set; and I do have to say this feels more like a choice a major choice. Two words can validate this, this time there are kids involved!

After spending so many years giving up on love; and settling for treatment neither of us deserved; I realized I deserve better for myself; he deserves better, and my kids deserve better! I make the decision to get everything I learned from birth to the present moment and make a choice to not only love again; but to realize I am in control of who completely rocks my world; and who will be graced with me rocking their world.
image

Life flies by, I think about my childhood and I can’t even remember it ; I dream about high-school and it is one big blink.  I see my oldest child graduate
image
I am in shock I would love to have one day of her childhood back to enjoy her innocence.
image

Time is temporary; the moment is already lost; I will never allow my life to be a gamble in a losing game.
image

We live we learn and a lot of times we lose but life’s tragedy’s or less appealing sides shouldn’t dictate who I am left to be or become.  It has also been true for me that there has been times in my life I had more than enough money to make me happy; and times when I had so little money I wondered how I would survive.  One thing is for sure; I would rather live with simple happiness everyday than anything that makes me need more and want more for some temporary happiness.
image

Physical admiration is always appreciated but it doesn’t change the fact we are all progressing in our years and soon enough one will no longer be the most fit, young, beauty in the room.
image

We don’t lose our beauty as we age; we can allow ourselves too; but one thing is for sure; I want to always be seen as getting more beautiful with age.  (I guess what I learned is that I gotta work hard on the “me“,  the inner me.  (((mind before body)))
image
I want love, I have love, I won’t live without love.  I want/have/won’t live without a best friend, someone to share life with; my second self again.  I want to continue to work with our imperfections and not bash each other but help each other to grow, and have a hell of a lot of bad ass fun while doing it.
image

I pray that everyday I will continue to allow myself to become a better improved version of who I was yesterday.

I pray that my family continues to guide each other with reflection of all our choices, ideas, and thoughts with an increased knowledge from our own personal growth.

inner doubts creep up like the snakes they bring
image

fears try to make you their bitch,
image

life basically life…
image

 The cycle of love will not be broken~  If you want something in a relationship, create it; don’t wait for it to happen because you will be waiting for it to happen for as long as you will allow and time is precious.

Love doesn’t just happen; you make it happen.  Life is hard enough as is; if a person makes it harder you are hanging around the wrong person.  There are a few so dear to me; that I see are chasing the wrong person; or hoping for a fantasy that doesn’t exist with this wrong person.

We can dream about soulmates and we can be soulmates but our souls will need a deep connection the kind of connection that makes you ONE.  If you want loyalty, love, honesty, trust…. you have to be loyal, love, honest and true.

When people cheat; its a choice they make; they are craving someones attention; usually feeling very lost and broken.  A person who cheats is obviously not valuing the relationship and not putting much value on themselves either.  When you are true and honest, full of love; you gain a respect; you care for that other person and would never want them hurt.  You also value your relationship you won’t risk it for just anybody; especially some fly by night.  

By all means, marry.  If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”  Socrates hahahaha quoting one of my favorites…. `  (been on both ends to this date);)

“If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother. “
image

Categories
Blog

Perceptions and Guilt

Always wanting answers can be overwhelming, especially when you’re driven by the quest -to find meaning.   When I stop and think about all the difficult times I’ve had in my life,  the answers have always been found “within” myself.

image

There I go again, looking for an outside source to give me all the answers.   I know that it’s best to educate myself with all the knowledge I can grasp,  and research every angle to the situation but in the end, it is my ultimate decision which knowledge I will accept and choose to ignore.  Therefore, the conclusion will always be,  I will choose to accept what I want to form my own reality by my own perceptions.  Thus, change in our perception will change our lives.

image

image

We are not prisoners, even though it feels we are.  We have a choice, we choose what we will allow in our senses. With all this power we hold over our lives we have to wonder why there are so many angry people surrounding us.

wpid-images4.jpg

Avoid bitter people who make you want to complain about their world. It’s human nature for us to want want want… But more importantly are we giving? Are we feeling?  Or are we choosing to live in denial?  It’s always easier to choose to live in denial.

wpid-images5.jpg

We choose to separate ourselves from others especially those who don’t think like us because we choose fear.  People care so much what other’ s think about them, they allow others to think for them.

image

What is everyone afraid of~
Afraid of Failing, afraid of Change,  and just afraid to think!   Allowing others to think for us feels safe because we not taking any risk.  Not being our true selves is always going to lead to unhappiness and bitterness.  The beauty is that finding your true self will lead you to happiness.

image

It makes no sense that during my entire upbringing, I made sure to always remain nonjudgmental  and to ensure I was never critical in thinking regarding another person’s choices.  I felt it was my personal mission to encourage others to be true to themselves, accept  them as they are.

image

I tried to live the example I preached about by showing I was 100% true to myself by my expressive nature not giving a care in the world what another thought about me.

image

The truth is, I was and still am critical to myself!   I have always felt I have never done enough, even in the relationships I held I chose those who reminded me no matter how much I had done for them, they only reminded me of what I hadn’t done for them.

image

Every accomplishment was never celebrated because I didn’t feel proud of myself nor did it feel deserved.  My accomplishments were seen as a small step to somewhere greater I needed to be,  a reminder I was still not there yet.   The more knowledge I seek the more I realize how much more I still need to seek.

image

I need to do all I can so the best job is done.  Guess what, there will never be enough time with more knowledge comes more responsibility.  Problem located – Guilt!

Guilt is probably my number one issue at the moment and has been for most of my life.  Problems will never go away they are part of life but why do I fee it’s necessary to make me their bitch?  I need to make guilt my bitch!

Mission not impossible – change my perception.

image

Michele Renee
image

Categories
Blog

Heartbreaks, Time, and Happiness

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.

You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, eat well, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”

Don’t let your heart run your life. Be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.

It’s true that love can wait forever but it’s crazy to stubbornly hope for someone who doesn’t even care or understand how you feel. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now and love you forever.

‘When a bird is alive, it eats Ants .. When bird is dead, Ants eat bird.  ***Time can turn at any time, Don’t devalue anyone in life ..

“You may be powerful now, But time is more powerful than you”…

One tree makes one match sticks, but one match stick can burn down forest of trees….!